I recently watched Hemlock Grove, a Netflix original series based on the book by Brain McGreevy. I watched it in three days and it would’ve been two if I didn’t have to clean my room. It’s weird, creepy, totally gross, full of questionable accents, killer wardrobes, a kick ass classic sports car, all things supernatural, dead bodies, and a lotta bitches getting their body taken downtown. Did I mention why I’m so in love with this show? That’s def some of the main reasons and umm hello baby Skarsgard!!! Man oh man can he give his older bro a run for his money and watching this show, I can totally see how they’re related. Besides the fact that they’re both crazy hot. Sorry Alexander, but it’s lil bro Billy that’s been haunting my dreams at night.
WARNING: Links on this page contain spoilers.
The Many Reasons You Should Watch This Show and Not Stop:
1. Roman Godfrey- The first scene he’s in, he’s the biggest creeper you’ve ever seen and I love it. I learned to love the many creepy stares of Roman Godfrey. The creepier he is, the more I fall in love with him. I swear his second favorite thing to do is just stand there and stare at people like a creep. Take a shot every time you see Roman stare at someone like he’ll murder the shit outta them throughout the series, and I’m more than sure you’ll be buzzed enough to get through the last episode. Trust me, you’ll need to be the way this show decided to end. Besides all this is his love of blood, which is only when he’s doing naughty bad things to girls other than me. 😦 Mostly you’ll just find yourself screaming at the screen, if you’re anything like me, what the fuck are you? A upyr. Of course totally not satisfied with answer, but thank God they have their own wiki page and I can watch him stare at me like a creep as long as I like. Ahhhh, Roman. So needless to say I’m obsessed with lil bro Bill Skarsgard, and I will def be following his career and we shall meet, fall in love, get married, have babies….. uhhh, I mean I hope to meet him someday and I will totally act cool. Totally cool…. yeah right!!!!
2. Peter Rumancek- If you love Roman, you’ll love Peter. It’s tough going for this gypsy boy that may or may not be a werewolf and of course all eyes are on him when the first murders happen. He tries his best to stay out of the way of things, especially to the advice of his mother, but things take a turn and his pulled right into the eye of things. His mother is played by Lily Taylor, who I really love in this series. Also, you see this boy’s booty a lot, and I don’t hate it! 😉 Don’t worry guys, there’s enough boobies to even things out. But I’m just saying, Roman and Peter as main characters are enough to make any girl wanna watch, no matter how vague the story line can get at times. I love Peter’s character in that he is so sweet to everyone no matter what and tries to do the right thing until you push him too hard. He’s sweet to Roman’s sister Shelly who’s basically a walking experiment, and even to the girl that made his life hell by telling everyone he’s a werewolf. And he is soooo cute in that super scruffy, gypsy, bad boy with a major dose of I don’t give a fuck about what people think attitude. A perfect balance for Roman, to keep him level headed and focused. They go through major tough times together and are each others first actual friends. *sigh* why can’t I have friends like that? I’d never be depressed again.
3. Shelly Godfrey- The gentle giant, little glow worm, call her what you will but Shelly’s not monster. She will def win you over with her love of reading, search towards independence, her very intelligent emails to her uncle, her smile when Peter says nice things to her, and being the only one on the show that is truly innocent. Shelly makes you fall in love with her, and wishing that she would give you a bear hug that lifts you straight of the ground. You wanna be her friend when people pick on her, and tell her mother fuck off and let her order a salad. You’ll love it when she glows and her very strong feelings for her older brother Roman. Also, more heartbreaking, is that she can’t speak and can only do these low moans. Which of course I tried to replicate to my friends when I tell them about the show. But I just end up sounding like a constipated porn star. So not good. So I’ll leave all that to the beautiful Shelly, which I wish I really had in my life. I’d let her order a salad.
4. Olivia Godfrey- The bitch you love to hate, and I mean looove to hate. This is one bitch that is full of pure cray. And she wears is white all the time. White all day erryday, fuck Labor day rules. As much as she scares the shit outta me and I want to strangle her, I do like her. She is def someone necessary for the show and I love her all white outfits. That is one closet I want to raid. I love Famke Jenssen in this role so much. I never seen her play a character like this, cold, conniving, manipulative, strong, majestic, this character is just amazing to watch. Despite what they say about her accent, which did throw me off and made me question how good my own english accent was. But I gave the excuse that maybe because of the characters background of traveling and who knows how old she really is and having come from an era of long ago, the mix of accents have led to this weird one, lol. Either way I accept it. I don’t know why everyone feels to rag on it or Bill’s american one for that matter. I really do like his and I can hear at times his other accent creeping out but I love it. I love is american accent a lot, so back off haters! lol. I especially love it whenever he says: Sometimes I see things, or sometimes I have these feelings. Whenever he says stuff like that he sounds so innocent and vulnerable. I just wanna hold him and squeeze him and love him forever. But Olivia has other things in mind for him.
5. clarity- This show has none. So if you’re looking for that, you’re watching the wrong show. Don’t get me wrong, there were many times I screamed at my laptop, WTF??!!!!, and I JUST WANNA KNOW, WHY WON’T YOU LET ME KNOW???!!!!! So this is not for those that want everything wrapped up in a nice silver bow. If this show could wrap presents, you’ll know half of what you’re getting, and when you unwrap the others, there will be nothing inside. It will make your brain hurt trying to figure out what is going on. But I have read so many books and watched so many things, that I understand. It’s just one of those shows you can’t figure out, and whether you like it or not, everything’s going to be vague and you’re not going to understand everything. Once you accept this, it’s smooth sailing and you can enjoy the show. To me, it def leaves me wanting to know more and more and more, and wanting there to be a million seasons that I can binge watch. But other people don’t get it or understand that’s the style of the show. So if you’re looking for clarity, don’t look here. It just ain’t gunna happen.
6. gross factor- Apparently people like gross things. I never knew that. I don’t. I’m a lil bitch about those types of things and it makes me just fake gag the whole time something gross its happening. I told my friend about it, and he was so excited that it was that gross that he wanted to watch it. And I’m like really? Just because it’s gross? That doesn’t even make any sense. But whatever. If you wanna know, I spent most of the time watching this show through my fingers, trying not to gag. And don’t eat food while you’re watching this. Especially chinese food. Every time I tried to lift a fork to my mouth, GROSS CITY. And especially don’t try to eat shrimp egg rolls during it. You’ll understand why. So if you like gross shit, this is the place to be, no doubt about that.
7. take her body downtown- If you know any of Lana Del Rey’s music, she uses take my body downtown as a euphemism for someone, well, going downtown on her. Which this show excels at showing. In the media today, and the sexualization of our culture, is purely male based. All about guys getting hjs or bjs and the women getting nothing return. Guys these days just expect that when they drop trow you’ll be there to lap it up and they get to go out and about their day with you getting nothing return besides the satisfaction of being in their presence with their pants down. Idk about you, but I am never satisfied with that. It’s time for guys to go down on a girl and be happy about being in their glorious presence. I’m happy that this show has more female satisfaction in mind. Very refreshing. And that is def sometime I can support, take my body downtown!
And if my list has left something to be desired, here’s a link pretty much explaining why I love this show so much and why it’s amazing to me. Others def don’t feel that way, but fuck them haters, son!
I def now wanna read the book and it is on my Kindle wishlist. Buy me this book! Please….
And if you do watch this show, yay for you and being awesome! Didn’t you just love how creepy it was? And why are the Godfrey’s house always so damn drafty? Anyway, hope this leads you to watching the show or reading the book. Happy traveling…