Here’s another scene in my story that I’ve been writing for quite some time and can’t seem to finish. But at least I’m getting somewhere, finally. Nearly 12,000 words. Whoo hoo! Anyway, this story, Lone, has been in my head ever since I wanted to write and could think about a story to write. It’s just all finally coming together now after all these years. Anyway, here’s a hug scene that I finally finished writing. Idk, I love it, I hate, I never wanna read it again but then I just can’t wait to fix it. It’s off and reeks of amateur attempts but it’s out the brain and saved on Microsoft Word. Idk, it’s missing a lot, it has a lot, it has everything but yet nothing. Idk what I’m missing or what I should take out. If this was a recipe, I’d just add a lot of cheese on top and call it a day, but this one is a little harder to remedy.
So here is this scene in all its terrible glory. So lemme know what at all two of you out there think. Or anyone that’s unfortunate enough to stumble upon here. Happy reading!
Once again Shadow found herself waking up in a strange place. It was familiar and different in that it was like the cabin she had woken up in before, but it wasn’t. It was someone else’s. She felt very warm but not in an uncomfortable way. She just sat there looking at the brown of the wood and the few things that were on the wall. A map of the woods that ran along the edge of town and beyond, further up into the more rural parts of New York, and a wolf calendar and a lunar calendar side by side. Shadow was always curious about New York City. She was in one of the most famous states in the world and she has never been to the even more famous city. She secretly dreamed of one day running away there, maybe they’d be more accepting of her. The Great Melting Pot, the City that Never Sleeps, the Big Apple. And then maybe she wouldn’t feel so alone all the time. Even if she was, the TV shows and movies all showed a fast past environment, she’d be moving too fast to even feel it. She could let the crowd swallow her up whole and get lost. Here, it was slow, and she could feel every minute dragging across her stomach.
“Oh, you’re awake. Finally,” said a girl walking into a room. She smiled brightly at her and Shadow stared after her. She went to fixing things on the bedside table next to her bed, another pitcher of water, a bowl with a washcloth in it, a white desk phone, a notepad and pen, and a plate with food.
“You gave your father quit a fright there, little one,” she said. “I’m Rain by the way.” She sat in the chair that was by the bed. She went to reach for something on the bed side table and paused. She looked at Shadow.
“Do you even talk?” she asked. Shadow, still staring and not moving one inch, nodded her head.
“Well, I guess that’s something. Can you at least open your mouth to eat?” she looked at her while her hands moved towards the bed side table once again. Shadow nodded. “Good, you need your strength after the transformation you’ve been through.” Rain had the plate and fork in hand ready to feed her.
“Always the bloodiest ones, the first few changes. Takes the most out of you,” she says this as she leans over to Shadow. She’s has everything poised and there is Shadow, still staring. She’s staring after this girl that whirled into her room knowing nothing other than her name, and that she was trying to feed her.
Rain then backed away and sat back in her chair, seeing that this wasn’t working.
“What? You don’t like Shepard’s pie? Come on, what’s not to like? It’s literally a pie of comfort food. But if you don’t like it, I could-”
“It’s not that,” Shadow said, cutting her off. “I just much rather feed myself.”
Rain smiled a crooked smiled.
“OK”, she said and hands Shadow the plate. “But at last, she speaks.” She grins at her while Shadow fills her cheeks up with Shepard’s pie.
“So, you’re Elijah’s kid?” she asks Shadow brightly with her elbow on her knee and her chin on her fist. Her eyes are bright and big and fully concentrated on Shadow while she eats her food as far back into the corner as she can get. Shadow pauses to shallow and look up at Rain.
“Who?” Shadow asks. This girl sure knew how to talk, she doubted that she even took one breathe since she got there.
“Who? Who?!” Rain laughs. “You’re father silly! What’s it like being his daughter? I never knew he had any kids, ever the steely type. Never really says much as much as I try to get him to open up. But I like bothering him, it’s fun.”
“Well, I wouldn’t know,” Shadow replied as she bent her head again and let unkempt hair fall into her face. She pushed around the plate in her food, her belly filled with something else now. “I never met him.”
Rain’s smiled faded. “What do you mean you never met him?” she asks. Her never ending black hair in a half bun at base of her neck, spilling onto her cream colored sweater. The sweater is a bit too big and fits haphazardly on her shoulders. She only buttoned two of the buttons, loving the coming winter chill cool her warm skin. Her red scoop neck tank top hugs her curves and brings out the startling green of her eyes. Her tan is ever present in the combination of green, cream, and red. Shadow peaks out from under her hair to watch this girl with wonder. Everything just seems so… so… so much… more. Rain’s green eyes are like two glittering peridot stones, the red of her tank top bringing out the burnt sienna tones in her skin. Seeing every loose thread on her cream sweater…
Shadow shrugged and made more circles on her plate with the fork.
“Just never met him. Never really knew if he existed at all,” Shadow replied into her plate. The screeching of the fork was starting to make an irritating echo in her ears, vibrating throughout her whole body. She slammed down the fork on the plate and set it beside her on the bed. She was starting to feel agitated and sighed deeply.
“But then how did you get here? How did you know to come here looking for him? This not a place that just anyone can find, Shadow. If you never knew he existed, then how did he even find you?” asked Rain, as started to lean forward in the chair, her turquoise necklace swinging off her chest into the air. Her glittering gaze fixed on Shadow’s movements.
“I-I-I don’t know, okay? Jeez, just stop with the questions already!” Shadow curled deeper into a ball, shoving herself in the corner the wall and the bed made. She let her hair be the wall the she needed.
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to rile you up. I’m just curious by nature, I’m sorry.”
Shadow knew she didn’t mean to upset her, and she wasn’t really sure why she was so upset and felt defensive. She was starting to get cagey, not sure if she wanted to curl up into a ball until everything went away, or run out into the open air towards freedom. All she was sure about right now was that she was very very confused.
“It’s ok,” she said after a long pause. She could still see Rain’s sparkling eyes through her hair. She was still leaned over, staring at her with such concern. It kind of reminded of her mother. All those times she would sit and watch her sleep. It was something familiar. “Truth is I wish I knew. I really do. I-I’m so confused right now.” She paused to swallow and came out of her corner a little more. She creased her forehead and finally tried to think about what happened the night before. She gazed down at the dark blue and purple knit blanket, as her mind took her somewhere else.
“It was so weird. This dream I was having, it was like is real,” she said, her gaze more intent as she tried to walk through the muddy memory. “I-I was running, and I felt sooo much pain that I couldn’t understand, but I felt it. I felt all of it and I just wanted to die. I thought I was going to. I just wanted to lay on the dirt in the forest and die and let everything else die with me and it would all finally be over.” She shook her and scoffed a little. “I thought I saw my father, but it couldn’t have been him. It was a wolf standing in front on me, growling and barking. But I could hear it, hear its thoughts. Well, actually it did say it was my dad but that’s fucking impossible because it was a wolf. But then again it was a dream so anything can happen in a dream. So there ya go, a wolf was my father and I was in crazy amount of pain running through the forest.”
“Yesterday was my birthday ya know,” her eyes was were glassy and now her head was up, staring at the cabin walls. She took another deep breather. “I think I was actually having fun with a boy, if that’s not all a dream too. I had hope for a split second and now it’s gone. I’m here, wherever the fuck that is, and I have no fucking clue what’s going. Supposedly my dad’s here, who I imagined to be dead long ago and nothing but a story. What happened to me? How did I get here? Why? Just tell me please. I just want to go home.”
Rain got up from her chair. “I think you really need to speak to your father. I don’t feel comfortable answering those questions for him. I’ll go get him.” Her look of concern now gone and replaced with a big smile. But her glittering peridot eyes still held something of worry. Shadow felt utterly lost and just looked away. “It’ll be ok, Shadow. I promise. Things will work out.” She watched Shadow nod her head, her jet black hair and side of her nose was all she could see. She felt a deep pang of pain for the girl, and was very worried for her. She turned to leave the room and as she turned the corner into the hall, she ran into Elijah, leaning on the wall. Rain’s eyes went big and her insides jumped. She was startled and completely caught off guard. She could never sense him, and it was very unnerving. Rain’s chest heaved a little.
“Eli,” she stared up at him cautiously. “I was just coming to get you.” He shot her look and tilted his head slightly, making his jet black hair move slightly to the side. She held her hand up and held her head down slightly as a sign of peaceful submission.
“I know, I know, don’t call you that,” she responded to his look. She glanced up at him, her eyes growing big and her mouth slightly open in all the questions she has for him. He looked ever steelier, leaning on the side of the wall with his muscled arms crossed over his even more muscled chest. He still looked so young but those eyes and that look of sternness that was always on his face made you think better. He was a steel grey t-shirt that hugged his muscles. Making his nearly silver eyes gleam even more. Curiosity won out.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone about her? Where you hiding her?” she asked cautiously. As much as she liked teasing him, his anger wasn’t anything to joke about. This was one field of eggshells she would have to step onto lightly if she was to get the answers she wanted. But it wasn’t all about getting answers, no matter what Elijah felt, he was her friend and she was determined to help him. He didn’t move, she wasn’t even sure that he breathed. She just felt those eyes piercing her through the shadows his hair created onto his face. Impossibly straight, always parted in the middle, his side bangs cut to the top of his cheeks. The rest slowly getting longer until it rest on the back of his neck. Elijah never liked his hair very long and his straight hair usually hung straight or feathered out in the directions of the wind. She could barely see the blue in his hair, the shadows making it blend into the background. “Listen, Elijah, you’ve seriously need to talk to her. She needs to know things. I don’t know what was going on and I didn’t feel comfortable telling her anything without consulting you first.”
Elijah then came to life from his statue spell, stood up straight, unfolded his strong arms, and sighed deeply. “I know. And thank you for respecting my personal space. I know your curiosity gets the best of you,” he said as made his way down toward the door frame, him and Rain switching places. “I’m going to talk to her now.” Rain grabs at his arm, stopping him from going in just yet. The long sleeves of her cream sweater brush his arm and her smooth, slender hand slides down his arm. There’s a pleading look to her eyes, even in the darkness of shadows. Her hand nervously plays with her turquoise necklace. Loose pieces of her hair tumbling around her face, curling and framing it.
“Please, you seriously have to talk to her.”
“I know, Rain. That’s why I came here. To talk to her, and I will.”
“Yes, but seriously, tell her everything. Don’t hide anything from her. She’s old enough to know and she has proven that already. At the very least, she deserves the whole truth. Especially when she can’t go back now. ”
“Rain…” the rest of the sentence ended in a growl of annoyance.
“I know, I know crossing the line. But I know how secretive you can be. And this one you cannot keep, not from her. I have no clue what’s going on, and maybe I’ll try to drag everything out of you when you’re in one of your better moods.”
“Better mood?” he questioned with an eyebrows. He amused that she thought he had any mood that be considered ‘better’.
“Yeah, ya know, those times where you’re not about to rip my head off,” she gave a lopsided smile and a glint entered her eyes. “Now go be the best daddy I know you can be.” She shoves toward him shoving him playfully in the light of the open door. He shoots her a look that she ignores as they walk into the door frame. Rain doesn’t come in but leans on the doorway. Her body pressed against the wall and her hand cupping the frame.
Elijah sees his daughter standing before him, conscious, finally. She looks so much like him but there is something about her mother that is there. A determination that buzzes underneath he skin. He’s a statue again just staring wide eyed at the little girl he left so long ago. He’s seen her so many times but not like this. Not when they can actually talk about things and all the questions that will rain on him. A storm he has been waiting for, for 16 years. A storm that may finally free up the weight of all the things he has kept inside. She was beautiful, that was one thing he knew for sure. She has grown to be tall, healthy, and strong. That’s all he ever wanted for her. And to be loved, to be happy. And those things he may have to answer for.
“So, I guess you’re him.” Elijah swallowed and did a small nod. Now really face to face with her, he wasn’t sure he knew the first thing about handling 16 year olds, much less 16 year old girls. Rain was more than he could handle already.
“So,” she said with a look of courage and determination, one he has seen on her mother’s face many times before, she boldly stared back him. “What are these secrets that you are keeping from me and why can’t I go back?” She crossed her arms and looked very much like her father looked a few minutes before.
Elijah stood there mouth slightly open, confused on how to proceed and a little frightened of the child he felt he was force to abandon so long ago. Maybe this wouldn’t be as easy as he once thought. He looked at Rain still in the door frame, and through a slightly pleading look at her.
“Well, that’s my queue to leave. Father daughter time! Have fun!” she gave them a thumbs up a huge grin, and spun around to leave. She waved goodbye as she was leaving, yelling “See you guys later!” The door slammed shut and there was silence. They both looked at the door frame as if they were expecting her to come back. Elijah finally turned around and looked at his beautiful daughter. He gave a nervous laugh and put his hands on his hips. He stared into her eyes, eyes that were nearly the color of his but lighter. The color of seers’ eyes. He kept looking into those eyes and saw the little baby girl he dreamt of for so long. With that he could only think of one thing to say, after so long. Her chin was set, her eyes expecting.
“I’m sorry.” More than anything he realized, he always wanted her to know how sorry he was. For everything, for anything that happened and that he wasn’t there for. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, her eyes grew big and immediately glassed over with tears. She moved on foot back, and started to shake. She sharply glanced to floor as she tried to plug the spring of emotions that threatened to erupt after hearing those words. She gritted her teeth, to fight through the pain that was swirling in her stomach. She didn’t want to cry and she wouldn’t. She would never cry ever, for no one.
She stepped back further until she reached the bed. Elijah watched her cautiously and held out his hands as if to steady her but never touching her. He stood slightly in front of her and she felt him gazing down at her.
“Shadow girl…” he said softly, and the sentence trailed off. He had no clue what to say, what to do, where to even begin.
A sob escaped Shadow’s throat and the sound was filled with so much more pain than she could imagine. She lost control of those emotions she kept hidden so deeply within herself, she forgot she even had them. Whatever strength she had holding them, faded away each time her father spoke. Now it felt like she was dying from the inside out, having to deal with a pain she thought she buried a long long time ago.
Elijah sat next to her on the bed, starting to speak and then not. Then he finally he realized he had to do the one thing he never got to know how to do.
He started to rub gently on her shaking back, and he felt her jump. She started to cry harder and harder, and her shaking getting toward violent. She was in such a fragile state, emotionally and physically. Shadow was too exhausted to process any more than the little she had received already. She felt more overloaded than she had ever been, without knowing a single thing. She couldn’t think anymore and didn’t want to. Her father hand was surprisingly comforting. When he went to his arm around her and pull her in close, she surprised them both by not pulling away.
What she did want right now was comfort. Her father smelled of things she couldn’t name that were somehow familiar. He was safe. He felt like home though she never would associate him with that. She felt that this was where she was belonged. Something inside her started to settle down and was happy with that thought. He rocked slightly and continued to rub her back. He did not tell her not to cry. He let her give way to all the tears and let her bawl away everything that was inside her.
She finally stopped shaking and her breakdown gave way to useless hiccups and sniffling. But he kept rocking and rubbing her back. He radiated a heat that lulled her emotionally drained mind into a calming sleep. Elijah looked down at his little Shadow girl and felt something he hadn’t felt in so long. He hadn’t realized just how empty and shut off towards everything he really was. He was happy for the first time in a very long time. The uneasiness of everything beginning to unfold itself took a back seat to being content.
For the first time, in a very long time, he was able to hold his baby girl.