Color Within the Lines but Think Outside the Box

Hair! Hair! Everywhere! Coloring my hair is no simple task. It may look pretty tame straight, but it is very thick. Curly, it is even worse. I always said it’s like little Orphan Annie vs. Scary Spice on crack. Sure it looks great wet and start slowly starts drying nicely. Then it just turns into chia pet that exploded. It just grows and grows until its just a frizzy mess of craziness. I can hardly tame it though I try. I have to put tons of hair products in it just to make it semi-work. But I make due. By just leaving straight which not so easy to do either. A lot of determination and sore arms. My friend, Shawnakay, that I met through my cousin, has bravely went on this journey with me and making my hair color what I wanted it to be.

I always wanted to dye my hair blue but not just any bright blue, a dark blue that it was almost black, navy blue. But I still wanted that brightness to be there. Also, my favorite color is purple and I def wanted to add that in there. So the first time around I dyed it blue and the bottom purple. This time. I just dyed the front blue and the rest of it purple. It’s sucha pretty purple and I love experimenting with the color. I even made a little of the bottom pink as another experiment. So here’s long painstaking journey into looking making my dream hair a reality. 

Before:

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Step 1: Bleach- My hair is naturally dark brown and as you know colors will basically show up as a rinse on darker hair or just not at all. So I have no choice but to bleach. I was very scared that all my hair will come off my head like on the that episode of Family Matters, when Laura, Harriet, and them tried out some new shampoo and woke up completely bald. Thank God that didn’t happen. Or that my hair would start falling out in clumps like I had some feral disease. Thank God that hasn’t happen either. Apparently my hair is healthy and I have no clue how I managed that. I really don’t take care of my hair the way I should and my hair is the type that you want to nurture. I have what I call mixed hair. It’s not not white girl smooth but it ain’t black girl nappy either. It’s pretty thick and def has texture to it but not a coarse one. I get mistakened for Dominican all the time because of my hair texture. But no I’m Belizean and that’s just my hair. My mom has very fine hair and it breaks easily. She says that one section of my hair is her whole head. But thank God it managed to stay stubbornly healthy as I do nothing to help it grow or maintain it whatsoever. 

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Step 2: Rinse, Dry, and Apply Toner- Me and Shawna have a theory that because we put the toner in and don’t let the bleach sit in my hair for as long, it’s helping to reduce the damage to my hair. That and I don’t go get my roots done when I should. I wait a whole year, I have no clue why. Anyway, we rinse the bleach and then dry my hair. We don’t completely dry because ain’t nobody got time for that, but enough that the toner can take hold. We put toner to take the yellow out of the bleached hair. Yellow and blue and makes green and as much as I’m up for experimenting, greens not on my radar yet. Also the toner just makes it really really white and the color shows up even more stunning. 

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Step 3: Rinse and Dry Again- We have to rinse the toner out and dye only goes onto dry hair. So we rinse and dry my hair again.

Step 4: Section Off and Dye- Because I want my hair three different colors, she has to section off my hair into the parts I want dyed. I want the front of my hair to be blue and the back part to be purple. Last time she left a little pink in my hair that was a result of bleaching my hair. I grew to actually like it in contrast with the dark blue and purple and decided to experiment more with that. So I just did a little section pink. 

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Step 5: Wash and Dry- Then after we let everything set for however long, we go and wash everything out as much as we can and then we start the painstaking process of drying my hair to sleekness and making me look beautiful.

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Voila! Magic has been preformed! Doesn’t it look amazing? I know I totally love my hair. I get a lotta complements when I go to the city, on the Island…. I just get some stares. But I’m used to that cause I’m weird. But whatever love it or hate it you gotta admit it’s pretty fucking awesome.

After:

That’s my hair looking crazy curly. I told you it can’t be tamed. I hate it cuz some curls just look so amazing and I want my whole head to be like that one curl, but of course it isn’t. I just look like some sort of sea witch.

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The back of my head. Isn’t that purple just amazing? And I love that peekaboo of pink. You can see it a lot more when I have my hair up. 

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That’s just me enjoying my hair. Loooove it!

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Ok, here are the products I use. I just get them off of Ebay. I use Special Effects hair dye. For the blue I use Blue Velvet and I had a little of that and they had no more when I went to order so I had to buy Blue Haired Freak and mix. But I feel like the blue is a lot brighter so I might just keep buying both and mix it. The purple is Pimpin’ Purple and it’s such a great purple. It really is a nice rich purple and the dye even has glitter or something super sparkly in it. All I know is that it’s amazing and we really love this color. For the pink I mixed Atomic Pink and Virgin Rose. I wanted it pink but not too pink and that’s why I decided to mix them. Virgin Rose is a nice purple pink and it just looked so amazing with the other pink. I might just mix it with the purple, too. The toner is also Special Effects tho I have used Manic Panic’s Virgin Snow. I use Manic Panic Bleach Lighting Kit 40 Volume. It really bleaches fast and very well. I like Special Effects because it really last long and the color fades so nicely. I think that’s the other reason why I take so long to touch up my hair. I just like seeing the different colors it turns until my hair is mostly brown again and I want rip it off my head. Then I’m always wondering why everyone’s color always looks so good and lasts so long… It’s because they get their roots done! I don’t know why I wait a year to do it but I guess that’s a good thing. Keep my hair healthy.

Anyway, I hope this has inspired you guys to go out and experiment or gave you some useful tips. Have fun and happy dying!

A Dash of Christmas to Add to the Workplace

We decorate out store every Christmas and we even have a contest. It’s between all the stores in your own region. We have to send the pictures in of how the store looks. I doubt we will win, other stores really go in. We tried our best but our store is just too small. Plus who the hell is gunna make a Santa sleigh outta burger boxes? Not fucking me that’s for sure. I just did what I did a long time ago for the first store I worked at but that got shut down.

I made some ornaments for the wall outta the burger boxes. I just bought some Christmas cookie cutters that were $1. They always have them at Deals or Dollar Tree. I trace the patterns over the boxes and then cut them out. Then I used glitter glue to make the design. I used the color of the store and regular Christmas colors to decorate them. They came out really cute and they look so nice on the walls at work. Even my boss, Sonia, liked them. And she’s not a very Christmas-y person.

Sonia (heavy Puerto Rican accent): Andrrrea, I see this ting on the wall, I was said WoooW. This is very nice, very elegant. This don’t even look like the walls. I tell you, I give you reconintion, I give you big reconintion. Good job.

So here are some pix of my decorations. Some of them are just so adorable.

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I don’t think all of them are pictured. I had snowmen, candy canes, bells, stockings, stars, and gingerbread men. So cute. Cute enough that people stole some off the walls already. Smh, people are so damn weird. Or as Sonia says, Have no freakin’ class.

Top 10 of Lana Del Rey’s Most Hairgasmic Moments

Sooo no secret that I love my girl Lana Del Rey, and what do I love more than her? Her hair of course. I don’t care if it’s weave, clip ins, hair extensions, or 100% hers, her hair always looks so frickin’ amazing and I want it! I love her hair so much whether it’s in an extreme bouffant, or in curling waterfalls. She can pull off any hair color which is so rare for people. Or rather they dye their hair whatever color they want and I don’t like how it looks on them. But I love blonde, brunette, or red on this lady. She can do no wrong in my book, none at all. So here are some my favorite sexy hair styles that she has had over the last few years.

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Top 10 of Lana Del Rey’s Most Hairgasmic Moments:

1. my favorite platinum blonde barbie doll:

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Even though I really don’t like when people dye their hair blonde, because the coloring never goes correctly with their skin or they honestly look better darker, I totally love her blonde. She def has the coloring and sweethearts, if you really do wanna go blonde, invest in a specialist. Blonde is sooo not for everybody. Everyone says I should do a honey blonde, when I bleach my hair that’s what it looks like basically. I agree it may look ok on me, but being blonde is so not my life. Being a blue/purple haired person is. Don’t you just wanna put your face on those easy, breezy curls? Way jealous.

2. the bouffant vs. the new millennium:

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The 50s on crack. This lady took one of her favorite things about the vintage era and took it to the 21st century with great height. It makes me wanna buy a bunch of those bump it things and stack a bunch on top of my head in some feeble attempt to make my hair look like that. Sadly I’m sure to come up short, very. She makes me wanna get a some extensions and defy gravity with a high rise hairdo. I just need 5 mins with her hair stylist, 5 minutes!

3. revolution of the flower crown:

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The world was filled flower crowns getting for the summer babies who were dying to bring out their inner hippie. Head chains slowly turned to little flowers gracing the heads of everyone who had summer and trend close to their heart. But it wasn’t until Lana Del Rey wore the flower crown that we were showed how it was really done. She raised the bar to max and made everyone wish there was a rose bush on their head. I love them too but unless I have Lana hair and not some cheap wilted looking flowers on my head, I will not be wearing them anytime soon.

4.  Ride:

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OMG. Her in this video was so terribly amazing. Can you say jealous? I never wants curls so much in my life. My hair is curly but that’s some Orphan Annie vs. Scary Spice on crack shit. These are beautiful, long, luxurious waving curls from heaven. If there ever was a time to have a hairgasm, it certainly is now. You cannot deny the amazingness of her hair in this vid. There’s no fucking denying it. I love when she has that big red bow in her hair and she just looks like a grown up Little Red Riding Hood or something. In looooooooove. Ringlets from heaven. *sigh* Why can’t my hair do that?!

5. Hollywood waves:

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Those waves!!! I’m sooo jealous! I love these old Hollywood glamour, finger waves. Amazing. She always look so beautiful with them, so long and effortlessly curling down her back. I don’t know why people hate on her so much when she is just beautiful and her hair is one of those things that make her so. My aunt always said your hair is your beauty so you must always take care of your hair. Well this girl knows how to do it. Can’t she just come out with extensions like everyone else?

6. color me red, or is it auburn? golden brown?:

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What color is it? Is it technically red, but a light brown? Is it just a nice auburn, leaning toward a golden brown? Whatever it is, it’s red and I looove red heads so watch out Lana. Once again, pulling off a color that would just look like copper gone wrong or a lesson on not to bleach your hair on most people, Lana pulls this color effortlessly and makes you keep guessing what category of color it falls under. I just wish that color was on my head, but not really. I’m def one of those people that should never wear this color.

7. blacker than lacquer:

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I loooove her dark! It may seem startling at first but real quick you’ll realize it’s striking more than anything else. Chocolate brown, black, black brown, idc what it is I love it! This just makes her seem like a living doll. Especially with all those curls or billowing waves. Why can’t my hair billow? I want to billow, too!! Anyway, just another reason to be jealous of her. She’s that best friend you secretly wanna kill and then possess their body because, how much more of your beauty are we supposed to take? It means we love we you.

8. I believe it’s just brown:

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It’s just dull ol’ brown here, coming to grace the head of Lana Del Rey, who can never look dull. The brown shines off her head like newly shined leather. How can anyone ever complete with that? Browns don’t dare to look mousy or frumpy on her, no they look like some color you never thought to dye your hair and you realize that’s the color your grandmother had before she went completely grey. I’m a take your grandma style, that’s what her hair color is saying. Also, it helps you to embrace the mousiness that surrounds your own head. My hair is naturally a dark brown but I hate it, why can’t it just be black? I always dye it black or blue black. I like my hair as dark as possible, or as bright as my hair is now blue, purple, and a little pink. But if it’s gunna be colorful, it’s gunna be colorful.

9. straight and narrow:

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She’s a real girl, I swear! For those days when we can’t find our XXXL bump it, and our curling iron has finally shorted out, Lana does what every other girl does. K.I.S.S.= Keep It Straight Stupid! For those times where she refuses another crimp in her hair or an ant hill of teased up hair, going stick straight is the answer. Lana just proves to you, that yes she can pull any hair style, boo ya bitches! When all she needs is a blow out to keep the haters away, Lana is no short of beautiful.

10. let’s play pretend:

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As if you weren’t already jealous of her hair, people have flexed their Photoshop skills to dye Lana’s hair to show how jealous you could really get. She looks completely amazing with these colors and if she really dyed her hair these colors, I wouldn’t be mad one bit. Just supremely jealous. But this just reaffirms that this bitch can dye her hair any color and still look really really fucking good.

Now how jealous are you? I know I’m totally green! Love her, hate her, or wanna murder and be her, you fucking love her. There’s no denying that great head of hair of hers: the styles! the colors! the effortless waves! If I ever do catch the fame bug, me and her hair stylist need to have a looooong talk. I see long dark waves in my feature… preferably blue and purple.

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Ladies and Gents!

Now presenting the mini film we’ve all been waiting for… TROPICO!!!!! Yes, yes Tropico is finally here! A mini film featuring Lana Del Rey and Shaun Ross. This mini film features videos for three of her songs off her Paradise EP: Body Electric, Gods and Monsters, and Bel Air. I’m not going to pretend and say that I know everything that’s going on the film because I def don’t. As my good friend Richie says, you def need to be high for some of this shit. Sure I understand it on it’s most basic level, being in the garden of Eden, falling from grace, now shoot to life as we know it now, full of sin and bad decisions, and then what we all want: a way out and being able to enjoy the beauty of life. But ask me anything further than that and you’re asking my brain to hurt. So without further ado, you know what to do:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwuHOQLSpEg

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Still not sure that you want any part of this mind bend experience? Here’s a few reasons why you should watch my favorite underdog:

Top 10 Reasons to Watch Tropico:

1. Hellooo!!! Lana’s in it!!! Duh…

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2. The strip club scene provides us with some very bootyliscious strippers… make that ass clap!

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3. Lana stripping, thought I really wish she was wearing pasties like everyone else…

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4. Lana’s rose outfit in the garden of Eden, looove it!

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5. A garden of Eden filled with Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, John Wayne, and of course Jesus Christ.

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6. Lana running around town with some badass chicks.

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7. Lana is your narrator that guides you throughout the film, reciting Allen Ginsberg and Walt Whitman.

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8. Clips of some pretty cray party scenes that make you wish you were high so maybe you knew remotely what was going on.

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9. Robbing mitches and taking all their money.

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10. It’s all we have until her new album Ultraviolence comes out sometimes next year!! 😥

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So thanks a lot asshole who stole all her music and pre-released them. Now she has to start from scratch and that means we have to wait until the New Year to see what her new shit’s all about. But I already like the title. I have a penchant for violence and if it’s ultra, even better.

You’ve done it again Ms. D. Rey and I certainly look forward to viewing more of your work. Were you not entertained?!

Love you more, than those bitches before…

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To Hell with Life Goals

To hell with everything at this point in my life. That’s basically what I’m doing. It’s 5am and I’m still alive like some newly made vamp that doesn’t know when it’s time to go back into the coffin and sleep. Working the night shift has had my internal clock all a muck this week. Sunday, when I was recovering and was in a coma until 5:30 pm was when I had that really weird dream about a town trying to murder me. Right now, I’m starving and can’t wait til I fall asleep and wake back up again so I can finally wash my hair and order pepperoni pizza. I want so much cheese and pepperoni right now, it’s ridiculous.

Today wasn’t too bad with work, then I went to see Thor. Whole theater by myself, whoo hoo! I bought some stuff at T.J. Maxx, I’m addicted. They had so many cute Juicy Couture stuff and jewelry. I bought some charms and a silver necklace. Everything I have is gold and when I want to wear silver I have like 3 things to choose from. This necklace is very nice, a feather and little feather charms on the chain. So today, not an overall bad day. I would like to get some sleep seeing as I only got about 4 hours yesterday and I wanna get some things done today… like eat. Now I’m starving at this time and it’s really annoying.

But to hell with everything. To hell with the life plan the world has set up with and the one you really thought you were going to follow. I was going to college on campus at F.I.T., I was going to make sure to move out and live in the city. I would have a DJ boyfriend who would make mixes about me and I would dance all night to the songs he made about me. We would have so much fun drinking, being young and in love, and taking some drugs. Just a little. But no here I am still living at home with no boyfriend to speak of, no underwear on, and just wearing a t-shirt. Just me and my laptop and playing some comps on a group page on Facebook, to get items to complete rooms for Bingo Blitz. I love Bingo Blitz, it’s so awesome. I love bingo and I love playing it drunk.

That’s my life. Fuck underwear and just wear a big shirt. Anyway, I should be sleeping or tired but I’m not. I def know that I’m fucking hungry. Are you allowed to order pizza at 6am? Besides all that, I think I wanna just give up on everything. I want to get out of this job. I’m getting so tired and over it. I want to work somewhere where I can actually wear makeup, smell nice and wear whatever clothes you want. Or at least some nice ones. I want to look nice and dress snazzy. Then I think, maybe I’ll just grow out my beard, wear a corset, join a freak show and I can be the fat bearded lady. I wonder how long it would actually grow. My hair’s already blue and purple, so that weird part down, and I have 12 piercings in my ear. I have my nose pierced and I just want one side of my lip pierced. I can totally get that done at the freak show, if I got that now, my mom would rip it out my face I’m sure. I would def need to get some tattoos, which I wouldn’t mind because I have that I want to get but I’m too fat and broke to get. Then I would have some free time to write my novel. For some reason, I figured I could be the bartender or something, not that I know how to mix drinks. I have no other talents other than being hairy and fluffy. I tried telling this idea to friend and they said it was a bad idea. I’m thinking this is a good way to travel and I don’t have to shave. Though it would make it increasingly harder to find a boyfriend. Unless he is also a freak show co-worker but I’m sure even they have their hangups.

So that’s one idea for a life path or I can just be a big lady stripper. One of my co-workers was like yeah they got big strippers, you just gotta know to climb that pole. And I thought that was the funniest thing ever. But it’s so true. I can barely lift myself from the couch much less up in the air on a pole. And sometimes I just have to be drunk enough to dance all crazy and not give a fuck. I wonder how sober you have to be when you’re stripping. Also, gross ass hell guys that I would be dancing for, omg grosssssss. Then private room stuff. I would sooo get a leg cramp but my calves would look even more brolic than they do now and I would totally strengthen my thigh muscles. Even though they make a weeks paycheck in one night and I can rent my own apartment and not have to work so much and have time to write, I think I’d feel some kind of way. And I’m not sure if my virginity would be safe there, I would be paranoid all the time someone would try and rape me but I totally doubt it after I come in with a beard. Also, I’d be higher on the murder hit list. Serial killers always kill sluts, prostitute, and strippers. They have mommy issues, are totally frustrated, and have an off kilter moral compass inside them. That means I’d be one big dead hoe. And ain’t nobody got time for that.

So my best bet is to join a freak show. That would be so much less hassle, not having to shave my beard. Maybe I can host bingo night. Oooo that’d be fun! I’d have my own mini drunken Rebel Bingo show, hosted by the fat bearded lady! My stage name would be Lady von Terrible. So cooool! Soo, where can I find a freak show so I can start living my life? I wanna travel and drink and be merry and live with a bunch of people that won’t judge me and know all my flaws up front. And will come to learn the others as well. Maybe then I would actually have friends if they travel all the time together. That’d be nice, Very nice.

Also, I love Carnavale and if it could be anything like that, that’d be totally kick ass. A girls gotta dream.