Top 10 of Lana Del Rey’s Most Hairgasmic Moments

Sooo no secret that I love my girl Lana Del Rey, and what do I love more than her? Her hair of course. I don’t care if it’s weave, clip ins, hair extensions, or 100% hers, her hair always looks so frickin’ amazing and I want it! I love her hair so much whether it’s in an extreme bouffant, or in curling waterfalls. She can pull off any hair color which is so rare for people. Or rather they dye their hair whatever color they want and I don’t like how it looks on them. But I love blonde, brunette, or red on this lady. She can do no wrong in my book, none at all. So here are some my favorite sexy hair styles that she has had over the last few years.

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Top 10 of Lana Del Rey’s Most Hairgasmic Moments:

1. my favorite platinum blonde barbie doll:

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Even though I really don’t like when people dye their hair blonde, because the coloring never goes correctly with their skin or they honestly look better darker, I totally love her blonde. She def has the coloring and sweethearts, if you really do wanna go blonde, invest in a specialist. Blonde is sooo not for everybody. Everyone says I should do a honey blonde, when I bleach my hair that’s what it looks like basically. I agree it may look ok on me, but being blonde is so not my life. Being a blue/purple haired person is. Don’t you just wanna put your face on those easy, breezy curls? Way jealous.

2. the bouffant vs. the new millennium:

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The 50s on crack. This lady took one of her favorite things about the vintage era and took it to the 21st century with great height. It makes me wanna buy a bunch of those bump it things and stack a bunch on top of my head in some feeble attempt to make my hair look like that. Sadly I’m sure to come up short, very. She makes me wanna get a some extensions and defy gravity with a high rise hairdo. I just need 5 mins with her hair stylist, 5 minutes!

3. revolution of the flower crown:

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The world was filled flower crowns getting for the summer babies who were dying to bring out their inner hippie. Head chains slowly turned to little flowers gracing the heads of everyone who had summer and trend close to their heart. But it wasn’t until Lana Del Rey wore the flower crown that we were showed how it was really done. She raised the bar to max and made everyone wish there was a rose bush on their head. I love them too but unless I have Lana hair and not some cheap wilted looking flowers on my head, I will not be wearing them anytime soon.

4.  Ride:

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OMG. Her in this video was so terribly amazing. Can you say jealous? I never wants curls so much in my life. My hair is curly but that’s some Orphan Annie vs. Scary Spice on crack shit. These are beautiful, long, luxurious waving curls from heaven. If there ever was a time to have a hairgasm, it certainly is now. You cannot deny the amazingness of her hair in this vid. There’s no fucking denying it. I love when she has that big red bow in her hair and she just looks like a grown up Little Red Riding Hood or something. In looooooooove. Ringlets from heaven. *sigh* Why can’t my hair do that?!

5. Hollywood waves:

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Those waves!!! I’m sooo jealous! I love these old Hollywood glamour, finger waves. Amazing. She always look so beautiful with them, so long and effortlessly curling down her back. I don’t know why people hate on her so much when she is just beautiful and her hair is one of those things that make her so. My aunt always said your hair is your beauty so you must always take care of your hair. Well this girl knows how to do it. Can’t she just come out with extensions like everyone else?

6. color me red, or is it auburn? golden brown?:

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What color is it? Is it technically red, but a light brown? Is it just a nice auburn, leaning toward a golden brown? Whatever it is, it’s red and I looove red heads so watch out Lana. Once again, pulling off a color that would just look like copper gone wrong or a lesson on not to bleach your hair on most people, Lana pulls this color effortlessly and makes you keep guessing what category of color it falls under. I just wish that color was on my head, but not really. I’m def one of those people that should never wear this color.

7. blacker than lacquer:

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I loooove her dark! It may seem startling at first but real quick you’ll realize it’s striking more than anything else. Chocolate brown, black, black brown, idc what it is I love it! This just makes her seem like a living doll. Especially with all those curls or billowing waves. Why can’t my hair billow? I want to billow, too!! Anyway, just another reason to be jealous of her. She’s that best friend you secretly wanna kill and then possess their body because, how much more of your beauty are we supposed to take? It means we love we you.

8. I believe it’s just brown:

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It’s just dull ol’ brown here, coming to grace the head of Lana Del Rey, who can never look dull. The brown shines off her head like newly shined leather. How can anyone ever complete with that? Browns don’t dare to look mousy or frumpy on her, no they look like some color you never thought to dye your hair and you realize that’s the color your grandmother had before she went completely grey. I’m a take your grandma style, that’s what her hair color is saying. Also, it helps you to embrace the mousiness that surrounds your own head. My hair is naturally a dark brown but I hate it, why can’t it just be black? I always dye it black or blue black. I like my hair as dark as possible, or as bright as my hair is now blue, purple, and a little pink. But if it’s gunna be colorful, it’s gunna be colorful.

9. straight and narrow:

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She’s a real girl, I swear! For those days when we can’t find our XXXL bump it, and our curling iron has finally shorted out, Lana does what every other girl does. K.I.S.S.= Keep It Straight Stupid! For those times where she refuses another crimp in her hair or an ant hill of teased up hair, going stick straight is the answer. Lana just proves to you, that yes she can pull any hair style, boo ya bitches! When all she needs is a blow out to keep the haters away, Lana is no short of beautiful.

10. let’s play pretend:

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As if you weren’t already jealous of her hair, people have flexed their Photoshop skills to dye Lana’s hair to show how jealous you could really get. She looks completely amazing with these colors and if she really dyed her hair these colors, I wouldn’t be mad one bit. Just supremely jealous. But this just reaffirms that this bitch can dye her hair any color and still look really really fucking good.

Now how jealous are you? I know I’m totally green! Love her, hate her, or wanna murder and be her, you fucking love her. There’s no denying that great head of hair of hers: the styles! the colors! the effortless waves! If I ever do catch the fame bug, me and her hair stylist need to have a looooong talk. I see long dark waves in my feature… preferably blue and purple.

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Ladies and Gents!

Now presenting the mini film we’ve all been waiting for… TROPICO!!!!! Yes, yes Tropico is finally here! A mini film featuring Lana Del Rey and Shaun Ross. This mini film features videos for three of her songs off her Paradise EP: Body Electric, Gods and Monsters, and Bel Air. I’m not going to pretend and say that I know everything that’s going on the film because I def don’t. As my good friend Richie says, you def need to be high for some of this shit. Sure I understand it on it’s most basic level, being in the garden of Eden, falling from grace, now shoot to life as we know it now, full of sin and bad decisions, and then what we all want: a way out and being able to enjoy the beauty of life. But ask me anything further than that and you’re asking my brain to hurt. So without further ado, you know what to do:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwuHOQLSpEg

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Still not sure that you want any part of this mind bend experience? Here’s a few reasons why you should watch my favorite underdog:

Top 10 Reasons to Watch Tropico:

1. Hellooo!!! Lana’s in it!!! Duh…

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2. The strip club scene provides us with some very bootyliscious strippers… make that ass clap!

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3. Lana stripping, thought I really wish she was wearing pasties like everyone else…

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4. Lana’s rose outfit in the garden of Eden, looove it!

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5. A garden of Eden filled with Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, John Wayne, and of course Jesus Christ.

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6. Lana running around town with some badass chicks.

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7. Lana is your narrator that guides you throughout the film, reciting Allen Ginsberg and Walt Whitman.

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8. Clips of some pretty cray party scenes that make you wish you were high so maybe you knew remotely what was going on.

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9. Robbing mitches and taking all their money.

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10. It’s all we have until her new album Ultraviolence comes out sometimes next year!! ūüė•

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So thanks a lot asshole who stole all her music and pre-released them. Now she has to start from scratch and that means we have to wait until the New Year to see what her new shit’s all about. But I already like the title. I have a penchant for violence and if it’s ultra, even better.

You’ve done it again Ms. D. Rey and I certainly look forward to viewing more of your work. Were you not entertained?!

Love you more, than those bitches before…

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Top 10 Things I Do Alone

Hey guys, I’m back! Trying to push through the depression that has cloaked me these past few weeks. It’s all I can do to raise my head and click on what Netflix movie to watch next. Even that I’ve been neglecting. I have two dvds sitting here for the past month. Anyway, I’m trying right now to get my shit together and write something. There’s a plague of ideas in my head and it’s hard to let them out. I want to, but I just can’t for some reason. Anyway we shall start off with something I am alllll too familiar with: being alone. So here’s a list of things I do alone when I’m busy having no friends.

 

 

1. going to the movies- This is def something I learned how to do and I’m glad I did. I get off work early a lot of the times and there’s a movie theater 5 mins away from my job. If I waited on the few friends I did have to see the movies I wanted to, I would be seeing nothing. On rare occasion I get to go to movies with other people but not very often. Also, that theater that’s close to my job is at a discounted price, otherwise I would never go at all. Why not go all the time when the movie is $6 or $8, depending on the time you go? At my job they always make fun of me for going so often, and by myself. But at the end, I get to escape for two hours and not feel like my day was a waste, and I got to see movie I really wanted to see. When I get the free movie tickets, I go to the ones in the city because I wanna take full advantage of that free ticket and the bigger theater with nicer seats. Plus, I have plenty places I can to after. Staten Island, just blows.

 

 

2. shopping- I often go alone, and I’m always with guys when I’m not alone, weird. Anyway I kinda like shopping alone cuz then I can take as long as want and go to as many stores as I want. What I don’t like is that I talk to myself because I do need someone to be like: Omg this is so cute! And omg they don’t have my size cuz I’m size fat. And omg look, I found this outfit on sale for $10! Plus I need advice because I still really don’t know how to dress my bigger body other than just covering it up. I got fat girl problems and I’m still kinda not used to being fat. So it’s nice to get advice and help when you trying to narrow done your pile of 20 items to a pile of 5. But I’m always shopping alone, in the city, on the island, where ever. Where that movie theater is, there’s two plazas so I’m always over there shopping. T.J. Maxx is my ex-boyfriend that I’m always going back to even though I know I shouldn’t because bad things happen to my bank account there. There’s a 5 Below and I buy all those reusable plastic cups, I’m sooooo addicted to those. They have a Dollar Tree, which I love, Telco, KMart, and other little bullshit stores. But I mostly stick to the other two. I love shopping in the city much better because they have a lot of stores that Staten Island doesn’t have and I refuse to go to the SI Mall. And a lot of the times I like what they have in the city stores than when they have out here.

 

 

3. eating- When I’m out in the city or sometimes around the island, I get hungry and I end up eating alone. When I’m in the city, depending on the time or how I’m planning my time, I stay there for and hour or two. Sometimes I’m tired and just don’t wanna go home yet so I just sit there eating, listening to my music, and reading my book. I usually go to fast food joints. I love going to Wendy’s, Burger King, Checker’s, KFC, Taco Bell, etc. These are a few places that I have visited to charge my phone and recharge me with some grub before I go home, or trekked around the city some more. Sometimes I don’t mind the peace and quit of being by myself and just reading a good book and enjoying my meal. The other day I got to experience the joys of having a Kindle, and used the wifi to watch Netflix. That was fun. But it is nice to go to maybe a more upscale joint, and order drinks, and not just sit there like a loser with a bunch of shopping bags and your Kindle as your only friend. Plus, I sit there for more than hour just reading or writing. But it is nice to get to relax ¬†and chill out. I like when it’s empty, or if there’s an upstairs part, I get to chill out by myself with no worries but my own.

 

 

4. concerts- You’d think I’d be scared to go alone, and I was. But after to going to the movies by myself for the first time, I figured I could do anything. Especially seeing as it was the summer I lost my best friends, and having a great love for Arcade Fire I prepared myself. I saw randomly that they were having a concert and then forgot about it. Then when I remembered the first day was already sold out at MSG. But I got the second day, isle seat, high up but not cray high. No one I knew listened to them, and I figured if there was any concert to go by myself, it was this one. I was in love with them, having such a great albums, and their new one was amazing. It won a Grammy for album of the year, which made me even more glad that I had gone. I had gotten my hair done that morning, had a cute dress on, and I was good to go. I did my makeup in the bathroom lol. I had a really good time, danced like crazy (that’s why I got the isle seat), and I know there were some guys looking at me, and dare I say it, taking some inspiration from me, to go as hard as they wanted to go. This was def one of the best concerts I have gone to. Couldn’t ask for anything more other than for the night not to end. Since then I’ve seen Best Coast, and Foster the People with Kimbra alone. I went to a Cold War Kids concert, and I was going alone but it turned out that a classmate in the my Italian class in college was going as well. So I ended up meeting her there, and she was with her bf and other guy friend. So I will say I was half alone cuz she went somewhere for half the concert and I was with these guys, dancing and singing lol. But it was still fun. I would like to go to concerts with other people, but not everyone listens to what I listen to, and I learned something from that Arcade Fire concert that would help with everything I hafta do alone. If I wait on other people, I will never get to do what I really want and then I’ll just be missing out. If I have never gone to that Arcade Fire concert because I was scared of being alone, I would’ve missed out on a lot. Especially during a time when I really needed some healing and that was one of the things to help me through it.

 

 

5. go to the city- Since time, I think I kind of always been by myself when I went to the city. In high school, we used to cut school and go to the city but when I got older it was mostly just me. Going to college in the city made it a lot easier to explore it. That’s how I learned my way around certain parts of it, and know what connects to where. I’m still really bad with east, west, and street signs, but I try. I love walking around the city, it has sucha ¬†therapeutic effect over me, and I feel much calmer. I guess cuz I’m walking by myself, working out whatever’s going on in my mind. What I like is that I get to go wherever I want, walk as far as I want and not worry about if the other person can keep up with me or can walk that long. I love going to my favorite shopping parts, or where there are the most people just milling about doing random stuff. I love going to Tribeca, Union Square, Prince St, Chinatown, 8th street, 34th, 42nd, and occasionally west 4th. I know, my places are so touristy but no one really showed me around the city but myself. I learned it on my own. People on Staten Island suck. A lot of them don’t travel to the city much or know very little about traveling around there. For me, I’ll take any chance to escape this hell hole of an island to go to the big city and experience shit that we don’t get on the dump of an island. I have traveled to all the boroughs which is more than I can saw for most Staten Islanders, much less New Yorkers. I love our city and the boroughs. Exploring is just half the fun. But it’s nice to have people to get lost with or be excited with you when you found a really cool place.

 

 

6. traveling- I am usually traveling alone. Especially when I went to college, I was always by myself. No one there lives on Staten Island or would ever want to come here. They’re like how you deal with being on the boat? Does it have heat? Like jeez people I’m not traveling to Ellis Island in the 1800s. It’s not that serious. And most of my friends are from different boroughs. So we usually meet up in the city or in their neck of the woods. No one ever visits me. So while it takes them 20 mins to get home, I’m trekking home with a travel time of up to 2 hours. Depending if I didn’t miss the boat or that it’s not coming every hour. It fucking sucks. I’m home! It’s 11:30. When I’m home: 12:30. I always have to make sure to text people to let them know I didn’t get raped, stabbed, or murdered. Traveling alone def sucks especially when you’re drunk. I hafta put my headphones and try not to move. Or pass out… long. You always have to make sure you have something to read on the ferry, train, bus, and your headphones. So homeless people and creepers can fuck off. They rarely do tho, ugh. And I hate sitting there doing nothing feeling stupid and alone. Let me read and be with some friends that are always faithful to me. So that’s what I do when I’m traveling alone, which is very often. Always going on the ferry, train, and bus alone. Always stomping around looking for places, alone. This where I really do mind being alone. It’s annoying waiting for the ferry by myself all the time, with no one to talk to just standing and waiting for the boat. I don’t mind reading but sometimes I rather do something else for 30 mins of my life and I would like that to be some social interaction. Also, even longer train rides. When reading the whole time, it gets to a point where I feel like I’m reading the same shit over and over and my eyes start to burn. It’s official, I’ve fried my brain. Bleh, sometimes there’s only so much a person can read and be quit and not talk to anyone. So I try to invite people out, but no one wants to hang out with me. Boo.

 

 

7. ¬†drinking- I have yet to master going to a bar alone. That one scares me a lot for some reason, but I’ll get there. I tend to just drink by myself in my room and drunk dial and text people lol. I looooove drinking in my room. Great way to pass the night and pass the fuck out. Whoo! Wild night in my room! But I really need to go to bar and drink alone. I’m just gunna hafta get over that hump and I’ll be all set. I drink outta those reusable plastic cups that I buy a million of. No one knows wtf you’re drinking and it’s a great time. I miss it tho, haven’t done it in awhile which shows you how depressed I am. So depressed that I can’t even move to make myself a drink to make myself relax even just the slightest. At least I know I’m not an alcoholic. But I should keep drinking at home, make sure my tolerance is still there.

 

 

8. dancing- I have danced by myself plenty of times. It helps for me to be drunk, that good kind of drunk where you don’t give a fuck, you just wanna dance. I dance at concerts by myself, when no one else around me is dancing. (Sorry white people, but I don’t understand how you can just stand there. I didn’t pay 30 bux to stand there and stare. Feel that music in you’re soul, man. That shit’s hard to ignore.) Dancing at a club alone. I was soooo good that night that I didn’t give a fuck that no one danced with me. I was just feeling the music and the alcohol running through my veins making me super mellow. I just wanna daaaaance guys. Good times. Love being that type of drunk. Also, at bars if there is a place to dance. Love dancing. I will break away from the crew and go pump it up where the dance floor action is at. So much fun, why don’t you wanna dance? I can’t stand in a corner or dance in a corner. I gotta wile out. And lastly, my house. I dance in the kitchen and my room. I love pumping up Pandora or one of the numerous MTV channels and just doing my thing to whatever I really love. I love dancing and wish I could do it everyday. Anyone need back up dancers for their band?

 

 

9. sleeping- I hate sleeping alone but I do it all the time lol. I love snuggling and sleeping with guys. It’s nice, especially when you both fit each other or the guy is nice and warm and cuddly. It can be sucha a great time. Or when they sleep in your bed and your bed hits the comfort level jackpot. How much nicer can life get? Much nicer when you get your own place and that shit can happen every night. Fml. Can’t wait for that to happen.

 

 

10. having a lazy, fay day- I have had these a lot, especially when I’m too depressed to move and half the day has left me anyway. I just get so tired and overwhelmed and my bed seems like the best place to escape all these things. Sometimes I wanna share these days with ¬†someone else. The watching of a million Netflix movies in a row, or having tv show marathons. Or having someone help me eat the $3o order of Chinese food that I can never finish. We can eat, laugh, and watch all this stuff in my comfy bed or just pass out, which is what I usually do. Or it can be at your place, whatever. As long as we’re being fat and not moving, sounds like a good time. But no, I’m all alone on this one.

 

 

Well, I hope I’ve shed some light on what lonely people do. I’ve gotten so used to doing these on my own, that sometimes it’s hard to adjust when there’s someone else there. You really forget to consider other people because there was never anyone to consider. And if you are new at being lonely, here are some things that you can do, and maybe it’ll help you get on with your life. If you always wait for other people to do what you really wanna do, you’ll be waiting forever, and you’ll miss out on some really great opportunities to make yourself happy.

 

Top 10 Questions I Want to Ask Drake

Sometimes I would like to be one of those people that have a really cool YouTube channel. But that’s never gunna happen, blog’s daring enough for me. But I would like to interview celebs and stuff and ask the real hard hitting questions we’d all like to know the answer to. And I have some questions for you Drake.

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My Interview with Aubrey Drake Graham. (I wiiiiissh!)

1. What’s the deal with Canada, man? Why don’t you ever rap about it? Did you forget you’re from Canada? I mean you started from the bottom, and that’s as bottom as you can get. Rap about Canada please. They miss you.

2. Speaking of Canada, do you ever visit Degrassi? Hang out with Spinner and Marco?

3. Um, someone forgot about Craig. Dude, where’s Craig? Shouldn’t you be helping him out now? Smh, I thought you guys were friends. Why don’t you hang out with Craig, dude?

4. Would you really murder Amanda Bynes’ vagina?

5. Did you develop the motto YOLO after your character Jimmy Brooks got shot in the back? Cuz I’d totally understand that.

6. Sooo, on the weekends, are you just Aubrey? Or is that still Drake?

7. Sooo, you like your eyebrows that thick, or are they weapons in disguise?

8. Did you use those weapons against Chris Brown when you guys had that altercation? They do some damage bro.

9. Didja really fuck Nicki? Or was that all hype and eyebrows? And if so, how was DAT ASS?

10. Did you ever find her loving? Did you ever find her heart? That’s all I ever wanted to know.

Well I hope one day Drake will sit down with me and answer these very important questions. That would be one fun interview!

Top 10 Ladies of Hollywood I Would Go Gay For

This list isn’t in any¬†particular¬†order or rank or anything. Just the girls of Hollywood that I love so much I would go gay for. This doesn’t mean that I only think these ladies are gorgeous and no one else, totally wrong. There are so many of them that I think are stunning but these ones I actually wanna do, have a relationship with, and just have good time with. These ladies I wanna see naked. lol So here’s my list and I hope you agree or at least I opened your eyes to some new ladies.

1. Angelina Jolie- Let’s start with an oldie but goodie. I started my girl crush with when she was on the back of that motorcycle with a long braid down her back and just kicking ass. Thank you Tomb Raider. But you cannot deny her beautiful eyes and how amazing those lips are (runs in the fam). Also, this bitch can act the shit outta anything. I know this lady likes it rough which is exactly the way I like things. I def would have so much fun with her and she would not bat an eye at all the crazy shit we def would do. Also, I can’t hate on her at all for stealing Brad away from Jen. She’s so typical American beauty, boring, so me to safe. Angelina may be crazy, but also very rare and a strong independent woman that doesn’t give a fuck what people think about her. What’s better than that? And if she can steal Brad away and still keep him around with all those kids that are his and not, then I¬†applaud¬†her. I can’t say as much for Jen.

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2. Rose McGowan- Ever since I’ve seen her pale skin, and full lips on Charmed, I was hooked. I don’t know what it is about her but I find her to be so fucking gorgeous. I love her skin, her eyes, her lips, and her body is amazing. I love her most with red hair, black hair, dark brown hair, even light brown looks amazing on her. She has such a great voice and it’s like she time traveled here from another era. They like to say old soul but this lady looks like she did pin ups alongside Betty Paige. I watched all her old movies, such an indie girl, there’s no reason not to love her. She can be so sweet and then yet extremely seductive like a 1940s vixen ready to take all your money and then some. I know I would¬†definitely¬†have a roaring good time with this lady.

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3. Evan Rachel Wood- I first seen her in 13, and really liked her as an actress. After that, I stalked her career. She’s also an indie girl, which I love. Then I just fell in love with her. The looks that she gives that say more than words ever could, her eyes when she pouts, and those forever long legs. She looks like she’d be aggressive, which I so would love and when I heard she was bi, I was super excited. Not like I ever was gunna be in a relationship with her for real, but a girl can dream. She did say she’s like the guy in the relationship, sigh. Love. I loved her role in True Blood. Her character was so glamorous and over the top. I love her as red head as well. And I dunno I just find her really really hot lol. She’s married to Jamie Bell now, which I am SOOO happy about because I love him and I love them together. And they’re having their first kid together! So super happy! Love ya lady!

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4. Eva Mendes- I love this lady so much. She def has the body. Omg her figure is amazing to me. I love 50s style¬†silhouettes¬†on her. The pencil skirts look amazing on her. I would love her in anything really. I can’t tell you when I first fell in love with her golden brown skin or sultry eyes but I do know that I can’t take my eyes off her in whatever she’s in. She has such an amazing laugh and I think we would have a good time together fooling around and such. She seems very light hearted and knows how to have a good time. I looove love love her and Ryan Gosling together. Screw everyone that keeps wanting him to get back together with Rachel McAdams. She’s gorgeous too, but come on. This is like Angelina vs. Jennifer all over again. And you know what team I’m on. I’m sorry but I’m all over exotic beauty rather than regular American beauty standards. And this bitch’s body be banging. So have fun with her for me, Ryan!

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5. Scarlett Johansson- Where do I even begin? I have no clue where or when Scarlett popped into my eye line but I am thankful she did. Of course I stalked her movies as well. This girl is just so beautiful, til it hurts. Her boobs are amazing. She’s def one of the first girl crushes whose boobs I really wanted to squeeze, omg they look amazing. I love her voice, her smooth skin, and her lips. They’re so full and she always has them¬†scrunched¬†up a kind of way or in a smirk. This girl can give me scarlet fever any day, my god she is just so amazingly hot. Of course I love her as a red head. I was kinda happy when they were hacking celebs phones so I can enjoy all those amazing shots people took,¬†especially¬†of her. Amazing! Can we just get naked? I’m sweatin already ūüėõ

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6. Kat Dennings- OMG booooobs. Love her soooo much. Her body is freakin killer. Such a little waist and stuff and just an amazing chest. Omg I can’t help but wanna see her out of her 2 Broke Girls uniform. I always loved her since she did a show called Raising Dad. I thought she was beautiful and amazing and it only built from there. By career stalking. Also, she’s such a great actress and I love her voice as well and her lips. My goodness those are crazy amazing. She just has such a great face. How much more can a girl ask for in one girl? I love when she laughs and that character she plays is so sarcastic and funny, and I def know that she’s the same. I’ve seen her on Craig Ferguson. AMAZING! I don’t think I have anymore ways to say I love this bitch. I would love to have fun with you, like, a lotta fun, like waaay too much fun.

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7. Amanda Seyfried- We are continuing on with boobs. I always thought she was beautiful with her big green eyes, her full lips, and amazing voice. Yes, I have a thing for voices, if you haven’t noticed. Some peoples’ voices just sound so amazing and are a real turn on for me. I love when guys have really nice deep voice or soft ones, depends. Anyway, besides her being a natural blonde and have great glowing skin, she has an amazing rack, and no one bothered to tell me this. I fell in love with this chick when I saw her in Chloe. OMG talk about when did you fall in love? Her boobs are so amazing and beautiful and I def wanna squeeze those. When I asked all my guy friends if they knew that she had an amazing rack, they said they did. I’m like waaahh? Where was my newsletter on that? Def got lost. I’m usually up on these kind of things. But at least I found out. Better late than never.

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8. Christina Hendricks- Now you really know it’s boobie time. She’s a red head, looove already. She has such a lovely face, wide set lips, with a long swan like neck. I never knew what people meant when they said swan like neck but she’s a perfect example of that. She has a beautiful long neck with beautiful pale skin. All leading to the leading ladies. Man, I don’t think I never wanted to see another woman’s boobs as much as hers. Like¬†whoa,¬† they are just so huge looking and amazing and the rest of her body looks so great, like I just wanna see them! My brain could not comprehend they’re greatness and so¬†grateful¬†when her phone was hacked and they put me outta my misery and into my glory. That was a good week lol. I love her on Mad Men in those pencil skirts, omg enough to blow you’re mind. Her husband is so lucky to say the least.

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9. Emma Stone- I loved this bitch ever since Superbad. Who didn’t? She’s hot, she’s funny, amazing red head, of course lol. The blonde is growing on me. Idk what it is about her but I feel like we’d fool around and she’d make jokes, and we’d both laugh and have a great time. I feel like she would just try to make me feel comfortable as the whole thing would probably be awkward at first. Of course I career stalk her and love everything she’s in which makes me love her even more. She’s the funny girl of Hollywood and you always need someone to make laugh. Love love love her. And I couldn’t be any happier for her and Andrew Garfield. Soooo hot. Love it! Love her… You can tickle me any day lady ūüėÄ

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10. Amber Heard- I think I the first time I really recognized her was in The Stepfather. But I really loved her in Drive Angry and The Rum Diary. This girl is so gorgeous like how much prettier can she get? She has a great smile, beautiful face, great bod, all that hair. Idk but she just makes me wanna yell: stop looking so good! It must hurt to look that great all the time. She just looks amazing to me every time I see her and it’s like alright, the only way I can get over this, is if we both get naked. From then on she was on my list of ladies. I’m just looking forward to seeing her in many more movies looking incredibly hot, so hot that I can’t take it. Lady, chill with being so hot all the damn time! lol

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Well, in conclusion, you might can tell that I love red heads, boobies, and nice voices in the ladies. But really, what all these amazing ladies have in common is that they’re all amazingly talented and you gotta be crazy not to love them. I always said if I ever were to go gay, they had to be a celeb and they have to be really fucking hot. I didn’t go into super detail because their beauty speaks for themselves and we’ll be here forever if I list all the things I find hot about them or what I would want to do with them. I’m always adding to my list as ladies are rarely anything but amazing. So maybe one day in the future, I would get lucky enough to stumble upon one these ladies and get the chance to find out what I think is true… Sigh, one can dream. Love ya ladies! And I wanna do bad things with you… all of you ūüėÄ

Top 10 Things Customers Do That Annoy Me

1. they walk through the door- ¬†Sometimes we just wanna have a relaxing day at work and not do shit, that’s more like all the time. So when customers come in through the door, it brings up a feeling of dread of things to come. And depending if we know the customer, we already know if this is gunna be a difficult transaction or a descent one. I do have my favorite customers and I have the ones that I hope die in a¬†fiery¬†crash and are singed beyond recognition. They are just that fucking annoying. Also, when customers walk through the door and they’re all loud and crazy, I’m already don’t wanna take your order because your all drunk or high or still in high school. Some people are really nice and others are just assholes. As they come through the door and reach the counter, they’re barking their order. Jesus give people a minute. Idk man, I don’t do these things when I go to fast food places. I don’t see why people have to act this way. But what I learned from working with the public, people really are fucking stupid, rude, and¬†inconsiderate . I understand now why people hate Americans when they travel to other countries. If this how you act in your own country just ordering fast food, then I don’t wanna know how you are abroad trying to get some fish and chips. Wankers.

 

 

2. whisper in my ear or just deafen me- ¬† I really fucking hate this sooooo much. I hate when people whisper their orders to me like they’re telling me secrets of their childhood. I can’t fucking hear you!!! I have to lean over the counter and practically put my ear to their mouth just to hear what they’re saying. On the drive thru it’s even fucking worse. There’s only so much you turn up the volume. The reason why this is so annoying beyond the obvious, is because we honestly can’t hear you. It is so loud where we are, you really need to speak up cuz we can’t hear shit. Between people yelling out orders, banging of the spatula, the shake machine rattling, the beeping of the fry unit, things banging open and closed, other people getting their order taken, it’s really fucking loud. So sorry if I can’t hear your secret order. Write it down next time, then I can understand what you’re saying. On the opposite spectrum is when people are waaaaaay too fucking loud. If I’m in the front, I’ll back away from the counter. I’m not having my ear drums get blown out just because you don’t know how to speak at a normal¬†decibel. And I’m the queen of being¬†frightened¬†easily, so when guys just yell there order out at the counter like this is a saloon, I tend to jump. Why are you yelling at me? Stop yelling. I can hear you just fucking fine just speak normal. God, don’t people have a voice between whispering and yelling? Idk, maybe a normal speaking voice? When I’m on the drive through it’s even worse. Listen people, you’re at the speaker. We can hear everything and anything that goes on in that car. Stop fucking yelling at people. It blows my ear drums out and makes me jump into the air. I especially hate when it’s ladies with really annoying voices yelling at the top of the lungs like they’re in a sea of people at a concert. Relax guys, we can hear you. I tend to just lower the volumes and go shhhhh to the speaker. Sometimes they’re so loud you can still hear them really clearly. Also the people in the front can hear you. So stop screaming¬†folks, but don’t fucking¬†whisper¬†either. ¬†Have some control over yourselves.

 

 

3. drunk, high, or just fucked up- ¬† I have dealt with my fair share of heroine addicts, crack heads, and drunkards working at this god forsaken place. You’d think I worked at a brothel. They first time I had to deal with them, I thought a camera crew would come in and Intervention would start. How are we supposed to be nice and patient to people that can barely stand up straight? Like wtf? I had this one lady who sat down and just started cursing. God only knows at what. It was pretty funny and I wanted to know what drug she was on so I would never take that shit. She looked so crazy just sitting there and yelling: Fuck you, fucking bitch! Fuck off! Leave my shit alone! I’ll fucking punch you in the face! Ahh good times. One guy was def on heroine, and doing the nod and just was bent at the knees and slowly going down down down. Nearly ripped the credit card machine out because that’s what he anchored himself onto. Tried to take his order numerous times but insisted I already took it. Clearly not. Apparently he wanted KFC and he was totally at the wrong place and sent him up the street. On night shift, I heard of girls just coming in with just a shirt and underwear, or customers asking, hey got any pussy back there? Dealing with drugged out, whacked people are the worst. They’re always using in the bathrooms like this is their personal opium den, and they never know wtf they want. And no doubt it, they’re leaving a huge fucking mess for us to clean up. And they’re super broke cuz they spent all they’re money on crack. One guy, I guess he was drinking all night, was in the front room all morning and I had work at 7am. He refused to leave and when he did he kept coming back. He kept shouting for us to call the¬†ambulance¬†for him because he was dying. He also kept drinking cuz he had another 6 pack of beers in his bag. My manger locked the doors and blocked both entrances with¬†garbage¬†cans. He still kept trying to come in and that whole scene was pretty funny. People, you’re a fucking mess. Omg, I never knew people drank so damn early. 10 am and your breath smells of pure beer? Jeez. That’s when I back up from the counter, way back, and lean to punch your order in. Rancid.

 

 

4. do you take credit or debit?- ¬† Omg if I had a fucking nickel. I honestly would be so fucking rich it wouldn’t be funny. Like are you serious? This is an actual business. It’s the year 2013. They have food trucks for god’s sake. Why wouldn’t we accept credit cards? This is not Jim Bob’s Fish Shack from down the road. Get it together people, really. I swear someone’s gunna ask me that and I’m just gunna snap, I really am. I usually just answer with an of course. I nearly wanna go a duuuh. But I have some restraint… some.

 

 

5. making stupid jokes- ¬†I really hate when customers make jokes and they think they’re sooo fucking funny. You’re not. That’s why you’re ordering burgers and not on stage at a comedy club. Because you fucking suck. I already hafta laugh at all the old people when they make joke s cuz they’re old. All they have are corny jokes and¬†anecdotes¬†about the war, or when burgers when 5 cents. Also, I’ve heard the same jokes a million fucking times. If I had a nickel. So to hear the same jokes all day from old people, and then again from everyone else… I’m sorry if I can barley manage more than a slight smile. Also, your jokes are soooo wack, and I’m busy. I don’t have time to listen to this and do everything else I have to do, it’s ridiculous and you’re¬†wasting¬†my time. If you were hot it’s one thing, but they’re never hot. One guy made a joke because of the prices like oh you gotta pay for the napkins too? And I was like no, napkins are right over there sir. Oh I was just making a joke. And all I could do was hang my head and sigh. And I let out a very mournful, I knooow. Just stop, it’s not funny, you’re not Kevin Heart, it ain’t working out. I can’t tell how many times I’ve heard, oh I just made that bill in my basement, or I remember when these burgers were 5 cents, oh! That’s too much money, jk… Ugh just really fucking annoying. So next time you make a corny joke, just think of how many people made it before you.

 

 

6. you’re really mean, then try to be nice, we don’t make the rules- ¬†I hate, really really really fucking hate when customers are nasty to you even after you try to do everything for them or try to explain why you can’t do certain things. WE don’t make the fucking rules we just have to follow them. WE will actually get fired, no joke, if we don’t do things by the book. Do you think we wanna do half the bullshit we hafta do? Hell no. So try to make our¬†depressing¬†lives a lil better by not being assholes about it. We do not make the rules about how things have to be done. If we were you wouldn’t be talking to us, those people are in¬†cooperate.¬† There’s a reason why people say I just work here. Because it’s true. I just work here, I follow the rules, this is a part of my job. I do not make the rules so please refrain from cursing at¬†people¬†and acting like rabid dogs about. Don’t be really fucking mean to us, see that you’re wrong or realize that you’re being a straight up dick, and then try to be nice about it. Don’t be fucking nice to me, just APOLOGIZE. What I would give for a sincere apology, like I’m really sorry for yelling at you like you’re an idiot, or like this life and death and not just a fast food¬†restaurant. God, people really need to relax. This food we’re talking about. No wonder the world goes to shit if anything¬†apocalyptic¬†were ever to happen. People when they’re hungry, are just complete dicks. At least that’s what it seems like to me. So please, wipe the foam from your mouth and try to act like a normal person, an actual human being with a sense of reasoning. As much as we may smile in your face, or just frown, and not saying anything, we secretly wish for death to be in the next few mins. Or we conspire how we’re gunna burn down the joint, or just shoot it up. One of these days…

 

 

7. the drive thru speaker- ¬† I really hate it when say may I take your order and you hear nothing back. Then I’m just standing there like an asshole, waiting for to get your shit together, only for you to scream at me : HELLO HELLO! Listen bitch, I asked may I take your order, you decided not to answer. Or they think they’re soo funny, sooo cute and go: Are you ready? For god sake’s just answer me the first time, I’ve been ready. I usually tell them, I’m waiting on you. Just say: I need a min, yes just one second please. For god sake’s anything at all will do. I hate that so much. I’m talking to you and you’re not answering. Are you dead? Why are you in the drive thru then? And how loud do I hafta be just for you to answer me? Too loud, I have an attitude. Of course I do because you’re an asshole and I just wanna stab you in the face. I hate when people tell me that their order is to go. You’re on the fucking drive thru, where else is it going?

 

 

8. the front room, dining area- ¬† Why, why, why, why, why are people so fucking dirty and disgusting? This is what goes on at your house? This is not an actual¬†restaurant¬†where you leave tips. This is fast food. I gotta clean this shit. Why leave all your crap all over the tables? I have never done that. I can’t understand that. What is so hard about throwing out your garbage? Like why is that really really really difficult for people? I will never understand that. And why would throw trays in the garbage? Like wtf man? Seriously? It makes no sense to me why these simple, everyday,¬†ordinary¬†tasks are so difficult for people. Just reminds me everyday that people really are fucking idiots. I don’t understand why it looks like Casper’s uncles came to visit, and there’s just a bunch chewed up, gross stuff all over the floors. We are not animals. I’m not saying this is the Queen’s palace but my goodness, have some¬†public¬†decency¬†or an ounce of respect for yourself. I love it when customers tell me, oh it’s dirty, can you clean it? I didn’t fuckin dirty it so don’t act like I did it on purpose so you couldn’t sit down. Sometimes it’s so busy and we can barley move from our positions, much less see if the front room is dirty. Sorry if a pack of rabid wolves ate were you sat, but it’s not like I told them to do it. I don’t mind cleaning your table if it’s really that bad, but I hate when there’s three crumbs and you want me to wipe the table off. Is this a fucking joke? While you sit there smiling and saying thanks. Bitch you could’ve got a napkin and done it yourself. I always wipe the table off myself when I eat at fast food places, I have never asked anyone to do it for me. This is not Applebee’s. Fucking fast food. And at least give me a dollar, something. I had old people give me a dollar for doing nothing, and these¬†people¬†won’t give you shit. All those napkins you took out the box and left on the counter, I put them back, all those lids you have all over the place I put them back. I’m not throwing nothing out. You wanna be nasty, stay nasty. This is not a third world country, no need to act like that.

 

 

9. people really are that fucking stupid- ¬† You don’t know how many times I get asked what’s the difference between the¬†original¬†burger and a cheese burger. One has cheese and the other doesn’t. Again, if I had a nickel. And just when they order in general, they ask the dumbest questions. I can’t even think of any cuz it’s just so ridiculous. And I never knew how many people can’t read or say the word¬†jalapeno. I know you’ve come in contact with that word before. It’s in food, like I don’t understand how you don’t know how to say it. The ways they say it: they pronounce the j, jalappypeeno, japenese, jalappy, chipotle, etc. I can’t understand why people struggle over saying such a simple word. It makes me really sad for Americans. We really are dumb. Also, when people take 5 years just to make an order, I usually just stand there and stare like, are you fucking kidding me? Also, if you’re really annoying or just an asshole, I look behind me to check for a camera crew and go: Is this a joke? Or I just rub the bridge of my nose or rub my temples because you’re giving me a fucking migraine. I sigh really loudly. I try to take a lotta deep breathes. Patients I have lost since working here. This is not a math test you’re studying for, not life or death, no cut the blue or red wire. Just ordering food that feeds your belly. Step to the fucking side if you can’t get it¬†together. I hate when they go: I guess I’ll have… you’re sure or you’re not sure?, is that all?… you tell me I’m not ordering you are, just give me a bunch of burgers. Like is that a joke? What kind? How many? Get your life together people! You’re not old and you’re not a baby. I shouldn’t not have to hold your hand so you can order properly. I also can’t stand when people in the front room ask for lids and straws. It’s right above the soda machine. Like it’s attached. Like you’re eye level with it. You have to be at least 3 years old to not see it at all. I don’t understand because all you have to do is look up, or just straight ahead of you like wtf. Right fucking there. One guy was asking about what drinks we have, and I told him everything’s outside so he can do it himself. So he goes over to the machine which was 2 feet away from him, how do you miss that? Looking at the flavors, oh ok so where do I get the cups? This guy didn’t pay yet or finish his order. Why would you stop half way thru an order to fill up your drinks? And why would they be outside? It’d be a fucking free for all. I’m just like, you get the cups when you pay. Which reminds me of how many times people have asked for a¬†receipt¬†and have not payed yet. And how many times people don’t believe when I tell them I can’t print it up unless you pay. Can I get a¬†receipt?¬† You only get one when you pay for something. Oh. This is not Sears or T.J. Maxx, I can’t be printing shit all ladi dadi. Fucking pay first .

 

 

10. you want everything in the god damn world, and you want me to give it to you- ¬†Relax people. It’s just sauce. Stop coming to the counter every 5 seconds just to annoy the shit outta my life. Can I have some ketchup? Can I have more? Do you have ranch?¬†Barbecue?¬† Chipotle? Buffalo? Honey Mustard? Yellow Mustard? Fresh lemons? Sweet and Low? Sugar? Napkins? Hand¬†sanitizer?¬† Gloves? A box of pickles? But like more? Can I have all the sauces? Throw everything in there, one of each, this whole list I just rattled off to you. Better memorize it because I’m the only person in the store. Can I have a plastic bag? A big one? Brown bag? Like 5. Can I get like 30 honey¬†mustards?¬† I’ll give you a dollar. Can I get a plate? 3 plates? A plate with ketchup? Jesus Christ people. There are other customers in the store besides just you. Relax, you’re not gunna die if you don’t get everything you want. Harassing our nerves every damn minute like a house maid. Even the wenches at Medieval Times get treated better than this. Ugh my life is sooo going down the drain. This place has sucked the last of my youth outta me. I have no life or feelings to regard towards people. I really hate people now.

 

Well, guess I should get a different job right? Totally working on it when I’m not sleeping my life away or have Netflix marathons and ordering enough chinese food to feed a baby elephant. So when you’re at a fast food place, please be nice. We had a long rough day. Unless they’re an asshole to you first. But please try to be considerate and have some patience. It’s only food. I am human and I probably am smarter than you. I have and associates degree in creative writing and graduated with honors. So think twice before you think we are all just¬†dumb asses.¬†¬†We’re not but on a level we are for dealing with you people. One of my reg customers heard me get screamed at on the drive thru for no reason other than that person was a big asshole. He said, don’t worry about that guy. What a mother fucker. If that was his daughter he wouldn’t want anyone to talk to them like that. And that is so true. If I honestly don’t deserve to be talked to that way, then don’t. I could be your daughter, friend, niece, or cousin. So just be a little more fucking considerate. Cuz all of us are basically one the edge and maybe that will be the day we burn that fuckin hell hole down. Or I just dunk my head in the fry unit. Fried skull anyone?

Top 10 Things I’m A Hipster About

1. Leggings- I was¬†definitely¬†wearing leggings before there was a leggings to wear. Sure the 80s and early 90s has me beat with that one but before the supertrend became super trendy again, I was totally rocking them. One, I hated wearing pants in the rain or really anytime for that matter, and two, wearing huge guys t-shirts as a somewhat dress is easier with leggings underneath. My ripped up fishnets with the¬†Britney¬†Spears crouch hole just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Leggings were and are my primary choice of leg wear. Especially since now I’m fat and can’t fit into pants anymore. Leggings are just so damn comfortable. But even my friend confirmed it after he hasn’t really seen me since high school, was like you were¬†definitely¬†wearing those leggings long before anyone else. Believe me, I¬†remember. Well there ya have it. I think I trust the guy that always checked out my ass to really remember how long I’ve been wearing these things.

2. The Twilight Series- I’m and¬†avid reader of anything YA and pretty much live in that section of my library. So no¬†surprise¬†that I was reading Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. But for some reason I couldn’t find anyone that was really that book at the time. I seen it around Borders and had a vague idea of what it was about. I tended to judge by the cover and only skim over what the book was about. It seemed interesting, read it, and I became totally consumed buy this huge ass book. I found friend who read it but only read the first book. Like who the hell only reads one of the books?! I’m like get up to part three, bitch! I did find one girl at this church, which me and my cousin grew up with at church. The three of us sat together all the time, and hung out together in church. She of course have been reading the books, being the reader like me. Sometimes all three of us would be reading the same books but it was me and her that really had the¬†in depth¬†YA book convos. Thankful to God that I finally had someone to talk about the book with, and I looked forward to every Sunday. I heard about the movie coming out and totally wanted to see who they were gunna pick for the characters, and needles to say when I saw the picks, it was all I could do from vomit. The only one I really thought fit was Taylor as Jacob. The last book had come out just before the movie was going to come out in theaters. Thank God for this girl from church who was first on the line for the Barnes and Noble and read the book within the week. She let me borrow it and I finished in more or less time and returned it to her at church. But in the months leading to¬†big¬†premiere, everyone and their grandmother was reading this book. Literally. I never wanted to punch people in the face so much or burn a book. This book has been on the shelf throughout my high school years and it’s just getting recognized them? It was just the fact that sooooo many people were reading it, everywhere you goddamned turned. You¬†honestly¬†couldn’t escape it and it was¬†beyond¬†overwhelming.¬†¬†So when anyone asks me if I read them I say, “Yeah and way before the movie and the rest of the bullshit that followed it, and yes I going to be a hipster about it.” Which also leads me to…

3. all things supernatural- I know this is another huge trend right now and it’s a little more than slightly annoying. This is what I grew up reading and grew up dreaming I would write about. I was looked at as the weirdo for being¬†obsessed¬†with reading everything and anything about vampires, werewolves, and fairies. I always loved that shit. When people had no clue wtf I was reading when I told them title and I just made them up after awhile. But now it seems it’s everywhere, not like these stories ever went away. It was always there for those who were like me I guess. Always obsessed with the stories and universe. But now it is completely mainstream. That’s all people were talking about to a point or wanted to be and it is very annoying for someone who was always accepting or this stuff and now the people that were closed off to it, are totally obsessed. It’s just whatever to me at this point. I like what I like and that will never change.

4. Fairy tales- I was also obsessed with fairy tales growing up. Yes I def was a weirdo in middle school and high school. (Still am.) I love Disney’s fairy tales of course, who didn’t want to be a princess? But I really became obsessed with Grimm fairy tales and fairy tales that weren’t so light and full of happy endings. I was obsessed with reading these and have a bunch of Grimm fairy book collections. I also like reading twists on fairy tales to see other people’s perspectives. I love the series Fables for that very reason. I also want to put my own spin and make a maybe a¬†modern¬†version of the tales one day. But like all things, fairy tales, especially remakes of them, are everywhere. There are two shows, Grimm and Once Upon A Time, which deal with both traditional and¬†original¬†Grimm tales. Needless to say, I’m OBSESSED lol. Also, the movies, the books,¬†definitely¬†getting more popularized. This trend is far from over.

5. cupcakes- Omg the most delicious and loved of all my¬†hipster¬†trends! I have no clue where or how or when this took off. But I always used to make cupcakes because of my mom. She loves baking and always makes stuff. Always making cupcakes or cakes for holidays and soon helping out with cupcakes became me making them. And for some reason, everyone really loves them. I can’t figure out why. I tell them I make them from the box and they either don’t believe me, or think I bought them. Ya gotta personalize your shit that’s all. Sometimes I add food coloring to batter or frosting, or I put different sprinkles on top. Can’t be boring about it. Or maybe because I put the most secret ingredient of all…. my love. Or maybe it’s the cinnamon sugar. Either way it got to the point I almost making a batch every week for people at work. I was the cupcake lady, still kind of am. But I totally stopped after they were everywhere. Stores had special stuff to make them easier and faster. There was the infamous made for tv huge cupcake cake that looks like it ate a whole batch itself. But it was on every show and every character only wants to make cupcakes and now there’s a million shows on cupcakes. But I can never hate on 2 Broke Girls cuz them my bitches. Or cupcake store Crumbs cuz their shit be cray. I applied there, never heard back from them. That so would’ve been a perfect job for me. Even though it was easier to access all things cupcake, kind of broke my heart to have something I love be turned into a trend to only have the mainstream public beat or eat the life out of it. On another note, I have made cupcakes since and they still apparently still kick ass. My co worker is¬†beyond¬†looking forward to eating some this Friday.

6. mustaches- I feel the same way about this about cupcakes, just that I don’t make any. Somehow me and my old¬†friend¬†was kind of getting into mustaches. But she liked them more than me and that gave me an idea to give her a bunch of mustache stuff for Christmas. I got her a mustache flask, socks, a canvas tote with the word mustache in the shape of a mustache, a tank top with different ones, and I think a necklace or ring. Then it was so hard for me to find these things or not as popular. She loved it of course, and it seemed to me, a year later this shit was everywhere. I couldn’t fucking believe it. It felt like mustaches and cupcakes broke out at the same time of¬†popularity. But I learned to get over it by ignoring lol. Guess that’s not really getting over it but I learned to fuck everyone and I like what I like. Trend or not.

7. fake nerd glasses- Yes I am an offender of rocking the fake Ray Ban look alike nerd glasses that I got from Chinatown. I rocked them my senior year of high school and instantly stopped when I saw this becoming a little more than just popular but full blown supertrendy. I always liked old school glasses and the big cat eye shaped ones. I hate when they’re like geek chic ugh hate that whole thing and hated it even more when my mom said to me when I finally got my new glasses. I got a new pair,¬†prescription¬† so it actually helps me to see. Not just seem trendy. I always wanted real huge glasses and I stopped wearing my fake ones until I could actually get me a pair. The time finally came and went and I love them sooo much. Everyone else really likes them as well which was a¬†surprise¬†to me. People always ask me if they’re fake and I’m like no, they are prescription¬†they actually serve a purpose. So this trend I’m over cuz my huge cat eye semi 50s looking glasses are real. I got them at Century 21 for about $10. They were reader glasses but I was able to have them with¬†prescription¬†and there ya go!

8. Gossip Girl- These books I’ve literally been reading since I’ve been ¬†in middle school. So needless to say again I got super excited when I heard that they were coming out with a tv show about the books. Every girls dream come true. Can never have too much of a good thing, unless it’s just plain ol’ bad. This time everyone had pretty much read these books. One of my old friends and I traded these ¬†around after I randomly bought the a copy at Rite Aid, again judging the cover and having no clue what it was about. (This was the old cover, covered in blue, pink, and purple spots. It has two designed girls on the cover not of book models. I never saw this cover again.) Being hooked of coursed I forced her to read it and her and her sister fell in love and they pretty much bought all the books which I read after them. Even my lil trio at church were reading the books, and we all talked about them. So we were all¬†definitely¬†excited to see Gossip Girl, even after seeing the picks for the characters. I feel the only ones that were a good match were Blair and maybe Dan. I tried, I really did, to watch it. I don’t think I made it to the first commercial break. Then of course the show was a hit and it was everywhere. Magazines, websites, stores, little girls screaming about the show. Like the wtf maaaaaan. Nothing like the books and I hate how no one looks the same and the lightness of the books soo didn’t carry on. I was not free from seeing their commercials about the show every 10 mins. Jeez it was so hard to escape this show, and everyone loved it. Except of course me. Is that show canceled yet?

9. hair dye and piercings- I’m not exactly a pioneer in this but more just really mad. Or as kids say today, “tight.” Or just being a jealous Judy about the whole thing. Let’s start with piercings. Back then, when I was in middle school which was early 2000s, people really didn’t have a million and one¬†piercings¬†in their face. If they did, they were weird and considered rockers or goths. I always wanted at least two holes in my lobes, and industrial bar, my side lip pierced, and a nose ring. Needless to say my mom wasn’t having her 12 year old daughter walk around with all these holes in her face. She didn’t even let me get my¬†second¬†hole! Always wait til your 18. Million years away. Now I have three holes in my lobes, and industrial bar, four in my cartilage, and one in my nose. I still want my lip but I think my mom would rip that out my face. Now, I’m hipster about it because I’ve been plotting about these things since the 7th grade and still am. Can’t wait to move out and get my lip pierced. But not only that, but¬†because it’s everywhere! Seriously! Not just people your own age but kids that look like they’re in middle school themselves. When I was at work, I was def taken aback by these girls that look like they were 10 and had nearly the same amount of piercings that I did. Their moms are def way cooler than mine but that besides the point. Something that was barely there and reserved for a group of people that are basically like outcasts, is now completely and totally mainstream. EVERYONE has at least something in their face or a millions things in their ear. Young, old, and in between. (I feel the same for tattoos but not really gunna gripe about that seeing as I have none. I’m still plotting these, I’m too fat for the ones I want, and I think my mom would skin me alive.) Same goes for hair dying. I always wanted to dye my hair blue, but like a navy blue and play with it from there. Finally, I was able to make my dream a reality after all these years. My mom didn’t even like when I dyed my hair black which isn’t very far from the very dark brown my hair already is. So def wasn’t rocking that in the 8th grade. Even though now I’m old enough to buy underage kids beer at 711, the first words upon seeing my fully blue head: “jingle bells.” Again not saying I had it out for dye before there was dye, Cyndi Lauper had us all beat on that one, much more like piercings, it’s just everywhere. It’s so accepted now that everyone including your grams, and not that faded blue white hair turns, has their hair dyed. Something that was once again¬†reserved¬†for rockers or punks, is now totally accepted on a mainstream level and completely fashionable. I’m glad people are more accepting now, and I get compliments all the time. But sorry if I’m mad when little girls and grandmas have the same hair color as me. I’m just saying.

10. studs, spikes, and sneaker wedges- Not really a super hipster about these but they were def things I wanted or wanted to design. I’m glad spikes and studs are kinda trendy cuz it’s easy to¬†incorporate¬†these styles into a way that I want. I have no sneaker wedges but they are cute. What made me add this to this list was that I found some old designs I did in high school and guess what a lot of them had? Studs, spikes, and sneaker wedges. Can I predict the future or what?