TV Quotes

Sometimes when I watch my tv shows some of the things they say just make you burst out laughing or you totally agree with whatever they’re saying. One of my fav shows that I can probably pull a million quotes from just one episode is 2 Broke Girls. That’s show’s fucking hilarious. And now I’m here to share it with the woooooorrrld……. or the two of you that still read my blog. I’m still Jenna-ing my blog so fuck it! Here’s some shit that I find hilarious and say out loud over and over by myself in my room and cracking up.

New Girl:

When CeCe goes into Jess’s room to talk about Schmidt and she’s in bed with Nick.

“How’d I get so lucky? My bro and my ho!”- Jess

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Supernatural:

“Then we can all go out for strippers and ice cream.”- Dean sure knows the way to my heart. *sigh*

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Super Fun Night:

When Kimmy revealed to the guys they went on a date with that she falsified her and her friends’ dating profile, and Murika wasn’t really a botanist.

“Argh, the plant knowledge we could’ve had!”- one of the three guys with a beard, idk their names yet, they’re new

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American Horror Story: Coven:

When Fiona pulls Madame LaLaurie from her grave still alive after 180 years.

“Come on Mary Todd Lincoln, I’ll buy you a drink.”- Fiona

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2 Broke Girls:

When they get their new day waiter/ gay waiter and of course Max is being my favorite nosey dirty girl:

“So are you a top?”- Max

“Oh please, you think this anyone’s pushing this $25,000 face into a pillow?”- Luis

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When Luis’ phone rings.

“Is that the theme from Sex and the City?”- Caroline

“You know it! I’m such a Charlotte.”- Luis

“I’m a Charlotte, too! There’s not many of us.”- Caroline

“And I’m all the dead girls from American Horror Story.”- Max

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I def cracked up to that last one. One of my favorites so far. Love tv. *sigh* My best friend besides my bed. I do everything from my bed. Anyway these are a few scenes/lines that have been rolling around my head and I have been chuckling to myself about or saying at work and then laughing and then have my co-workers stare at me. They always ask me if I’m ok and I just say no, cuz what’s the point in lying if it’s so damn obvious already. Hopefully you found these funny too, or at least makes you go watch the show! You should be watching these shows already anyway…. unless you actually have a life.

Hemlock Grove

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I recently watched Hemlock Grove, a Netflix original series based on the book by Brain McGreevy. I watched it in three days and it would’ve been two if I didn’t have to clean my room. It’s weird, creepy, totally gross, full of questionable accents, killer wardrobes, a kick ass classic sports car, all things supernatural, dead bodies, and a lotta bitches getting their body taken downtown. Did I mention why I’m so in love with this show? That’s def some of the main reasons and umm hello baby Skarsgard!!! Man oh man can he give his older bro a run for his money and watching this show, I can totally see how they’re related. Besides the fact that they’re both crazy hot. Sorry Alexander, but it’s lil bro Billy that’s been haunting my dreams at night.

WARNING: Links on this page contain spoilers.

The Many Reasons You Should Watch This Show and Not Stop:

1. Roman Godfrey- The first scene he’s in, he’s the biggest creeper you’ve ever seen and I love it. I learned to love the many creepy stares of Roman Godfrey. The creepier he is, the more I fall in love with him. I swear his second favorite thing to do is just stand there and stare at people like a creep. Take a shot every time you see Roman stare at someone like he’ll murder the shit outta them throughout the series, and I’m more than sure you’ll be buzzed enough to get through the last episode. Trust me, you’ll need to be the way this show decided to end. Besides all this is his love of blood, which is only when he’s doing naughty bad things to girls other than me. ūüė¶ Mostly you’ll just find yourself screaming at the screen, if you’re anything like me, what the fuck are you? A upyr. Of course totally not satisfied with answer, but thank God they have their own wiki page and I can watch him stare at me like a creep as long as I like. Ahhhh, Roman. So needless to say I’m obsessed with lil bro Bill Skarsgard, and I will def be following his career and we shall meet, fall in love, get married, have babies….. uhhh, I mean I hope to meet him someday and I will totally act cool. Totally cool…. yeah right!!!!

http://hemlockgrove.wikia.com/wiki/Roman_Godfrey

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2. Peter Rumancek- If you love Roman, you’ll love Peter. It’s tough going for this gypsy boy that may or may not be a werewolf and of course all eyes are on him when the first murders happen. He tries his best to stay out of the way of things, especially to the advice of his mother, but things take a turn and his pulled right into the eye of things. His mother is played by Lily Taylor, who I really love in this series. Also, you see this boy’s booty a lot, and I don’t hate it! ūüėČ Don’t worry guys, there’s enough boobies to even things out. But I’m just saying, Roman and Peter as main characters are enough to make any girl wanna watch, no matter how vague the story line can get at times. I love Peter’s character in that he is so sweet to everyone no matter what and tries to do the right thing until you push him too hard. He’s sweet to Roman’s sister ¬†Shelly who’s basically a walking experiment, and even to the girl that made his life hell by telling everyone he’s a werewolf. And he is soooo cute in that super scruffy, gypsy, bad boy with a major dose of I don’t give a fuck about what people think attitude. A perfect balance for Roman, to keep him level headed and focused. They go through major tough times together and are each others first actual friends. *sigh* why can’t I have friends like that? I’d never be depressed again.

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3. Shelly Godfrey- The gentle giant, little glow worm, call her what you will but Shelly’s not monster. She will def win you over with her love of reading, search towards independence, her very intelligent emails to her uncle, her smile when Peter says nice things to her, and being the only one on the show that is truly innocent. Shelly makes you fall in love with her, and wishing that she would give you a bear hug that lifts you straight of the ground. You wanna be her friend when people pick on her, and tell her mother fuck off and let her order a salad. You’ll love it when she glows and her very strong feelings for her older brother Roman. Also, more heartbreaking, is that she can’t speak and can only do these low moans. Which of course I tried to replicate to my friends when I tell them about the show. But I just end up sounding like a constipated porn star. So not good. So I’ll leave all that to the beautiful Shelly, which I wish I really had in my life. I’d let her order a salad.

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4. Olivia Godfrey- The bitch you love to hate, and I mean looove to hate. This is one bitch that is full of pure cray. And she wears is white all the time. White all day erryday, fuck Labor day rules. As much as she scares the shit outta me and I want to strangle her, I do like her. She is def someone necessary for the show and I love her all white outfits. That is one closet I want to raid. I love Famke Jenssen in this role so much. I never seen her play a character like this, cold, conniving, manipulative, strong, majestic, this character is just amazing to watch. Despite what they say about her accent, which did throw me off and made me question how good my own english accent was. But I gave the excuse that maybe because of the characters background of traveling and who knows how old she really is and having come from an era of long ago, the mix of accents have led to this weird one, lol. Either way I accept it. I don’t know why everyone feels to rag on it or Bill’s american one for that matter. I really do like his and I can hear at times his other accent creeping out but I love it. I love is american accent a lot, so back off haters! lol. I especially love it whenever he says: Sometimes I see things, or sometimes I have these feelings. Whenever he says stuff like that he sounds so innocent and vulnerable. I just wanna hold him and squeeze him and love him forever. But Olivia has other things in mind for him.

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5. clarity- This show has none. So if you’re looking for that, you’re watching the wrong show. Don’t get me wrong, there were many times I screamed at my laptop, WTF??!!!!, and I JUST WANNA KNOW, WHY WON’T YOU LET ME KNOW???!!!!! So this is not for those that want everything wrapped up in a nice silver bow. If this show could wrap presents, you’ll know half of what you’re getting, and when you unwrap the others, there will be nothing inside. It will make your brain hurt trying to figure out what is going on. But I have read so many books and watched so many things, that I understand. It’s just one of those shows you can’t figure out, and whether you like it or not, everything’s going to be vague and you’re not going to understand everything. Once you accept this, it’s smooth sailing and you can enjoy the show. To me, it def leaves me wanting to know more and more and more, and wanting there to be a million seasons that I can binge watch. But other people don’t get it or understand that’s the style of the show. So if you’re looking for clarity, don’t look here. It just ain’t gunna happen.

6. gross factor- Apparently people like gross things. I never knew that. I don’t. I’m a lil bitch about those types of things and it makes me just fake gag the whole time something gross its happening. I told my friend about it, and he was so excited that it was that gross that he wanted to watch it. And I’m like really? Just because it’s gross? That doesn’t even make any sense. But whatever. If you wanna know, I spent most of the time watching this show through my fingers, trying not to gag. And don’t eat food while you’re watching this. Especially chinese food. Every time I tried to lift a fork to my mouth, GROSS CITY. And especially don’t try to eat shrimp egg rolls during it. You’ll understand why. So if you like gross shit, this is the place to be, no doubt about that.

7. take her body downtown- If you know any of Lana Del Rey’s music, she uses take my body downtown as a euphemism for someone, well, going downtown on her. Which this show excels at showing. In the media today, and the sexualization of our culture, is purely male based. All about guys getting hjs or bjs and the women getting nothing return. Guys these days just expect that when they drop trow you’ll be there to lap it up and they get to go out and about their day with you getting nothing return besides the satisfaction of being in their presence with their pants down. Idk about you, but I am never satisfied with that. It’s time for guys to go down on a girl and be happy about being in their glorious presence. ¬†I’m happy that this show has more female satisfaction in mind. Very refreshing. And that is def sometime I can support, take my body downtown!

And if my list has left something to be desired, here’s a link pretty much explaining why I love this show so much and why it’s amazing to me. Others def don’t feel that way, but fuck them haters, son!

http://www.tvguide.com/news/hemlock-grove-crazy-moments-1066025.aspx

I def now wanna read the book and it is on my Kindle wishlist. Buy me this book! Please….

And if you do watch this show, yay for you and being awesome! Didn’t you just love how creepy it was? And why are the Godfrey’s house always so damn drafty? Anyway, hope this leads you to watching the show or reading the book. Happy traveling…

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My Shows of Summer Continued

Hey guys! I just need to make an update on some more shows you should def be watching this summer. I didn’t forget about these shows more that I’m surprised that they’re coming out this summer. TV show’s scheduling are all over the place, I can’t keep up. But here are a few more shows that I really wouldn’t wanna miss.

Dexter:

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I was so shocked to see that Dexter’s return date was as early as June, seeing as we just had the last season start in September. It’s its final season and as sad as I am to see it go, I’m kinda glad. If I to hear or see Debra cry again, I’m gunna cry. Love you Dex, but things are getting a lil too cray for me. I am gunna miss you being all sexy, and dark, stabbing syringes into evil’s neck. I will also miss the dark passanger, Quinn’s decent into his own personal hell, Masuka’s dirty jokes, and Batista not being able to catch a break. Who knows the next time we will see lil Harrison, and Dexter being such a great father, a role he doesn’t have to fake. This is also the last time Dexter can go YOLO, and fuck the code. So, make sure you watch this last season. Maybe I’ll wait to watch it, drag it out. Oh, who am I kidding? I could never not watch my Dextie.

Catfish:

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This show is back, and I sooooo didn’t know! THIS MONTH! Like whoa, dude. Way to take my summer up a notch. I almost don’t wanna watch it, so I can save them all for a day I wanna be lazy and not move from my bed and eat chinese food and watch a marathon of Catfish. Or when I have my period and I need to cry. Either way, great fun. I loved the movie (yes, I saw it alone). I had to see it because the commercials were bothering me, like wtf is this shit about? I saw it and was great, just sucked what happened. Call me Nev! I’m a real girl. Anyway, when I found out this was gunna be turned into a show, I was hella excited. If this was gunna be anything like the movie, it was gunna be a joyride. It’s really amazing and sad to see what some people do with their time and how they spend their life. I have no clue what these people would be doing if there wasn’t a social network to live out their craziness. And this season looks cray, so I will def def spend my summer lazy days watching that.

Skins:

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I am sooo excited that it’s back for its 7th season. I really wanna know what the crazy streets of London have in store for us now. I have loved and loved every season so far, but I’m really nervous about this one. You can’t go 6 seasons with me not hating everyone. I know I’ll grow to love the new cast, but what if I don’t? I’m just worried that it’ll finally hit its glass ceiling with me and I hate everybody and I just want the old casts back and I’ll just be stubborn and not watch it. I doubt that’ll happen but I have my anxieties. Let’s hope that when they come back, all my worries will be eased and I can breathe happily. There at least better be some boys on there that I can fancy.

And that’s my summer show extension. Thought you run out of shit to watch? Ya didn’t! I know I haven’t. Watching all these shows is like a full time job I don’t get paid for. Can’t someone make that a job for me? Anyway, hope you guys are getting tan. I’m not.

My Shows of Summer

I know it’s summer when these shows are popping up and I’m more excited about watching my shows in my backyard than just wrapped up on the couch. Here’s my list of shows that I absolutely much watch and cannot miss. I am not me without these to help make me feel better after a long day of work or a long day of just being me. Either way, tv is one of my favorite pick me ups.

Mad Men:

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I never really watched Mad Men and I would always here people talk about it or ads in magazines and pro mos. My friend was into the show and said I should watch it. I kinda trust him with these kinds of thing so I was like ok. Plus it was instant on Netflix. I had Mad Men marathon for the next two, three week catching up on all the episodes. I was totally hooked. John Hamm as Don Draper the hottest philanderer there is. I think I could totally forgive him for all wandering ways. Besides him being dreamboat city with a sexy deep voice, the girls of the show are nothing to laugh at. Christina Hendricks as Joanie is def one of my favorite characters. Elizabeth Moss as the once shy Peggy now driving her way through the advertising business. And of course the Jessica Pare recently joining the cast as Megan Draper, changing the whole show, and I must say not for the worst. I am def excited for this new season and so far have yet to be¬†disappointed. I am def looking forward to what happen this season, especially to ever enigmatic Sally Draper.¬†I have nothing bad to say about this show expect that there’s no old fashion that pops outta tv when you watch it.

Games of Thrones:

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I never read the books or anything so I’m totally not a hipster about reading the books first and then watching the show. I somehow heard about it and just decided I was gunna watch and someone told me it was good or something. Either way, I watched the first episode and was completely hooked. I think this is one of the few shows that when it ends, I’m like wtf that wasn’t 50 mins of my life! Def a good show when I don’t realize it is supposed to end and not just continue on forever. What is not to love about this show? Ya got dragons, boobs, John Snow, Khaleesi, Khaleesi naked, white walkers, wolves, back stabbing, magic, revenge,¬†sociopathic¬†lil kings, accents, war, and of course, winter is coming. So jump on this band wagon and I assure you, you won’t want to get off.

Nurse Jackie:

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So who’s ready for the 5th season of Nurse Jackie? I know I am. This is why I miss having Showtime. It was just a new series and I just decided to watch and BAM! Hooked! I love me some Edie Falco in this shit. Basically about a nurse addicted to¬†prescription¬†drugs and hiding it from everyone. She is one of the most kick ass nurses I’ve seen on tv and if there was anyone I would trust with my life, it would be nurse Jackie. Sucha New Yorker in that she’s in your face, doesn’t care what you think, and she is still going to get the job done. At the end of the day, she’s about saving lives and trying to save her own. You don’t have to be a nurse to love this show, just halfway alive. And if anything, Zoey, Thor, Dr. O’Hara, and the rest of the staff at All Saints will bring you back to life, or leave you in stitches.

The Big C: Hereafter:

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Same goes for this as Nurse Jackie, just a new show on Showtime and decided to watch. Plus who doesn’t love Laura Linney and Oliver Platt? Basically a suburban mom who lived a normal, safe life, has it all shaken up when she is diagnosed with cancer. She stopped living by the rules she set in place for herself and decided to do what I guess we all wait to do: live. Sometimes things don’t go the way you want when your new¬†lease¬†on life is¬†mostly¬†YOLO, but it is never from a lack of trying. I love Gabourey Sidibe on this show. I’m just happy that they realize that big girls can act too. (Just not me, I totally can’t.) There were a few episodes that I can barely dry my eyes and others were I totally get Cathy. Again, don’t need cancer to love the shit outta this show, just half a sense of humor to love the things that come out of the dark. I totally can’t wait to see what antics Cathy is going to be up to this season. The last we saw her, she jumped in the ocean and swam after a boat to go hang with a guy she couldn’t even speak english with. This is the last season and will miss me some Cathy Jamison.

Awkward:

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Saw all the commercials and decided to watch it and give it a chance. That decision, I did not regret. Sure it’s an MTV show but one of the good ones, and surprisingly so. Everyone I know is hooked on this show and finally something I approve of. This show is def that, awkward. But this show will make you wish your high school years were really this awkward, or that fun. Even though Jenna and Mattie had some struggles with getting their relationship started, they are finally in a place were I can breathe easy, or so I hope. This new season promises a lotta changes and I am hoping against hope none of these are a change of Mattie and Jenna. Otherwise I’m gunna break out all leave-Britney-alone guy, and just shout at my tv screen: “Just leave Jenna and Mattie alone!” I promise you, I will do it. Changes I do like are Tamara’s haircut looking extra smooth, and Ming finally learning Mandarin to get some edge over the Asian Mafia. Things I totally hope won’t change are their VP Val excruciatingly funny dry wit, Sadie’s razor sharp bitchy comebacks, and her moms crazy antics. Watch this show! You’ll love it, I promise. You’re welcome.

Real World: Portland:

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Yes, I know it’s the Real World. Who still watches this right? Well I fucking do. =D ¬†I treat it the same way I treat The Bad Girls Club. I just start watching it and after awhile if I fall off the show, I know it’s wack. But sometimes there’s a good cast and I did watch The Real World: St. Thomas. I really liked that season and also Rob was soooooo fucking hot. Dream guy! Anyway, this season def looks cray especially after the edition of Nia to the group. I can’t wait to see what this group has in store for the rest of my summer. Some people are def getting on my nerves already, and others seem like real chill ass people. I always wanted to be on The Real World but then I got fat. I don’t think they allow fat people on this show, I have yet to see one. I just think it would be a really cool ass experience to chill with random diff people from diff places in a tricked out house in a diff place. For me, the place better be real fuckin¬†exotic.

Girl Code:

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Girl Code is the sister show to Guy Code, another show which I absolutely LOVE. This first episode def hit out the park. For all those guys that say girls can’t be comedians, never met a girl, or at least these girls. Guys of Guy Code better be on their toes because this first episode was beyond hilarious. Lets hope they didn’t use all their best material in the first episode. But I have total faith in the Girl Code girls, because that’s girl code, stick with your girls. At least, I think so. We shall in future episodes. It ¬†also features dudes from Guy Code like Chris Distefano. And who could really get mad at seeing some more Chris? Girl Code.

Teen Wolf:

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Yes, yes I know… ANOTHER MTV show. I was skeptical of this show at first. Like are you serious? Making my Top 10 Things I’m A Hipster About kick in. But one day it was on and decided to watch some of it. Then I thought, this is silly, I have no clue what’s going on, so lets watch from the first episode. One thing I’m def glad I did. This show is fucking cray!!!! First season was hooked, second season was madness! PURE MADNESS! I was like woah, def wanna be on this writing team. I am so impressed with this show and Awkward, MTV. Needless to say, I really can’t wait for this new season to start and the cray cray craziness to continue on. Plus, hotd guys with their shirts off.

Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta:

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I know I know, this show is super ratchet, but that’s the best part! I never watched it and didn’t know half the debotury that was going on until I went to my cousin’s house and she opened my eyes to pure chaos. Everyone and¬†their¬†mother was watching this show but me, ¬†and I mean it, even my mother was watching this show and knew more about what was going on than me. This new season looks absolutely CRAY. From Joseline’s stripper Barbie outfits, to K. Michelle’s louder than life attitude. Idk what there isn’t to love about this show. Steve J’s rat faces and stalkerish attitude, Lil’ Scrappy puttin paws on people, the queen plotting away with Shay saying change is coming like winter is coming. Oh boy, I bet Winterfell never had to deal with this. Def can’t wait to see all the crazy antics these people get into. Don’t you just love to laugh? This show will def put a smile on your face and let you rest better because you def will laugh your ass off. Or make you wanna get ass injections.

Breaking Bad:

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Soooo, I heard about Breaking Bad but never really gave it much thought. But I was running low on things to watch on Netflix and they always suggest these show and I’m usually like ehhhhhhh…… But the friend who’s pretty reliable source on what’s good shit and what’s bad shit, told me basically: “bitch, you better watch this show.” So I did and can you say Netlfix Marathon Part 2? Walter White def practices in the idea of YOLO when the words cancer are being thrown at ya, so why not just make the purest form of meth and make mad fucking money? And in the process become super fucking scary and totally bad ass? Yeah, sure I’m in Walt. As a viewer, I totally feel like Jesse Pinkman in this¬†Stockholm¬†syndrome type relationship, were I totally wanna leave because I can’t take it anymore but I can’t because you can never walk away from characters like these. I just hope that Jesse and Skyler help each other get outta their situation. I, on the other hand, am not sure if I really want help. Reel me in Walter White! I am def excited for this new season especially since we left the last epi with a double oh shit. Last season but glad to have known this incredible series. I def would have love to be on the writing crew.

True Blood:

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Yes, I know, last season a total fucking drag and literally left us hanging until the very last episode where everyone was like wtf? No, need more now! I’m just happy Tara stopped her bitching about vamps cuz she is one and finally looks decent. I swear this girl had the worst wardrobe on that show. But now we have Billith lol wtf Bill??? And I am kinda missing Bill flying to a room and going: “Sookie.” But I did like Sookie and Eric, especially Baby Eric omg can this guy get any hotter? Apparently. I ¬†hope since we got all 16¬†appetizers outta of the way last season, we can fucking finally get to the main course this season. And I love the shit outta Pam, that bitch def knows how to make me laugh. So happy she got her face back. We also left Jason kinda cray cray, can we please get that fixed? I really don’t want him killing Eric or Billith. Sam and Luna forever! lol Lafayette, oh Lafayette, what isn’t there to love? He’s def first in making me crack up to pieces, and then Pam. But what I really wanna know is, how is Andy Bellefleur gunna handle all them babies? Waiting¬†truly¬†does suck.

Louie:

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Love Louis C.K. His self¬†deprecating¬†humor is something I can totally relate to. And I’m wondering why at 22, I’m having some similar experiences of a 45 year old man? Not the whole¬†divorce¬†thing, just whole being sad, fat, and lonely part. Anyway, always watched this show in bits in pieces and decided to really watch the series from the beginning, and I loved it even more. I especially love the two lil girls that play his daughter, they are so adorable. I just love the random antics he gets into and everything is so dry, tense, and almost awkward. If there was ever someone I wanted narrate the story of my life and how miserable it is, Louie’s my first choice.

Wilfred:

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Wilfred! I love this show, fucking hilarious and Elijah Wood never looked better. Omg all I wanna do are the fittings for his super fit wardrobe. I heard about this coming out to America and that it was an Australian show. I, for some reason, felt like I had seen it before but never had. Idk I just really thought I recognized this whole guy in the dog suit thing but maybe I dreamed that or something. I found the first season on IFC and totally loved it. I love when Wilfred goes up to the birds: “Come here, I just wanna tell you a secret.” And the proceeds to try and eat them. Fucking hilarious because I really hope that’s what dogs think in their head. The Australian version is more relaxed and is not as complex as the American version. I love both versions and really wish Australian shows would make their way to America because I have yet to see the next seasons of the Australian version. I am so glad Elijah Wood is doing this show, Jason Gann is just a crazy¬†genius¬†and I love that he’s completely engrossed¬†creatively¬†in both shows. The show is nothing without him. This is the perfect night cap to all my summer shows.

Hope you found this somewhat useful when you have nothing to do and need something to take your mind off the upcoming endless nights of pure heat.